After years of putting it off, I have taken the plunge and decided to go on hormones to transition from male to female. My partner has been so supportive and I treasure him dearly, and we decided to abstain from sex until some future point where I felt it was right. Last week we shared a deeply intimate moment at karaoke (it sounds strange, but he sang a song that’s very meaningful to me, and I cried) and we ended up having sex. I was a full and enthusiastic participant, but after the rapture subsided and my tears of joy turned to tears of shame, we both knew it was a mistake. Now we are both so riddled with guilt we can hardly look at each other. My doctor gave me the names of targeted therapists, but I didn’t think I would need it at the time. This is becoming too much for me. Now I’m not even sure I want to continue with the transition. I don’t know if this is a normal part of the transitioning process. Should I talk to somebody about this, or just ride it out and see if it will pass?
—Full of Guilt