Thank you cards

kirstin1105 · March 2016

I am considering adding a thank you card with the napkins at the dinner reception. Would this be tacky? I am afraid people may view it as impersonal by not getting a mailed thank you card instead. What are your views?

glasgowtolondon · March 2016

What would you be thanking them for at their place setting? The reception is your thank you to your guests for attending the ceremony, so you can thank them when you greet each guest individually. I'd find it really impersonal to do this the way you are suggesting. Most guests won't have given you their gift when you write these cards, so they won't even reference a gift - you'd still need to write thank you cards after the event anyway.

ILoveBeachMusic · March 2016

I agree with @glasgowtolondon. You shouldn't be thanking them for a gift unless they gave you gift which in that case the thank you should be personal - not a generic thank you at a place setting. You would still be making table visits and/or a receiving line to thank your guests for attending. Skip this idea.

SP29 · March 2016

Agreed.

Be sure to thank each of your guests in person at the wedding, either via receiving line or table visits.

Written TY notes would be for a gift received, and should be written and mailed to the giver in a timely fashion upon receipt of the gift.

MobKaz · March 2016

kirstin1105 said:

I am considering adding a thank you card with the napkins at the dinner reception. Would this be tacky? I am afraid people may view it as impersonal by not getting a mailed thank you card instead. What are your views?

What if you have a guest that does not attend? Will you go around at the end of the reception retrieving unnoticed cards?

ernursej · March 2016

I love table visits and think this is a great way to thank your guests for joining you at your wedding. After the wedding is over, personalized thank you cards should be done for any gifts received.

Story - I received a thank you note within a week of the wedding and initially thought that the bride was really on top of things. Unfortunately, the thank you made no mention of the gift that we provided at the reception and I wasn't really sure how to follow up with the bride. This was about 10 years ago and I have never found out if she actually received our gift.

CMGragain · March 2016

It is very tacky to try and save postage by putting a proper thank you note at the guests place setting. Cheap, cheap, cheap! Mail them properly.

kirstin1105 · March 2016

I do plan on sending personalized thank you card for each gift received. This was more directed for those that attend but did not bring a gift. I still want to thank them for attending of course, and had seen an idea on Pinterest where they had put a general thank you letter on top of all the plates (read something similar to friends and family: it means the world to have you hear tonight. Thank you for the support, encouragement in our lives, etc.)

Think I may forgo this idea as I do not want to upset anyone.

JediElizabeth · March 2016

kirstin1105 said:

I do plan on sending personalized thank you card for each gift received. This was more directed for those that attend but did not bring a gift. I still want to thank them for attending of course, and had seen an idea on Pinterest where they had put a general thank you letter on top of all the plates (read something similar to friends and family: it means the world to have you hear tonight. Thank you for the support, encouragement in our lives, etc.)

Think I may forgo this idea as I do not want to upset anyone.

I think this is fine - your original post was unclear - but maybe better put in the program or the foot of the menu so no one has the wrong idea and thinks they won't get an actual thank you card later.

MobKaz · March 2016

kirstin1105 said:

I do plan on sending personalized thank you card for each gift received. This was more directed for those that attend but did not bring a gift. I still want to thank them for attending of course, and had seen an idea on Pinterest where they had put a general thank you letter on top of all the plates (read something similar to friends and family: it means the world to have you hear tonight. Thank you for the support, encouragement in our lives, etc.)

Think I may forgo this idea as I do not want to upset anyone.

How would you know whether a guest brought a gift? Do you plan on opening gifts and cards brought to the reception during the cocktail hour? Just because you see something on Pinterest doesn't mean the idea is a good one.

ernursej · March 2016

kirstin1105 said:

I do plan on sending personalized thank you card for each gift received. This was more directed for those that attend but did not bring a gift. I still want to thank them for attending of course, and had seen an idea on Pinterest where they had put a general thank you letter on top of all the plates (read something similar to friends and family: it means the world to have you hear tonight. Thank you for the support, encouragement in our lives, etc.)

Think I may forgo this idea as I do not want to upset anyone.

I'm glad that your intention was to send thank you notes for any gifts received. Thanks for clarifying.

Honestly, I think just saying the thank you for attending the celebration is best in person. It will save money on stationary and will seem more thoughtful.

ILoveBeachMusic · March 2016

I have seen this done and have no problem with it. I don't think it is necessary though and shouldn't replace speaking to each of your guests. Your original post was unclear - looked like the letter was in place of a proper thank you note sent for each gift.

AddieCake · March 2016

You should thank them for coming by personal interacting with them after the ceremony, not by leaving a card at their place setting.

climbingsingle · March 2016

I don't like this idea at all. It feels impersonal. You should thank each person directly for attending, either during a receiving line or during table visits. Send thank you cards after for anyone that gave you a gift.

Jen4948 · March 2016

kirstin1105 said:

I am considering adding a thank you card with the napkins at the dinner reception. Would this be tacky? I am afraid people may view it as impersonal by not getting a mailed thank you card instead. What are your views?

Don't do it. Cards at place settings, with the same wording on it for everybody, doesn't make anyone feel "thanked" or "appreciated" for attending. The only way to do that is to personally thank your guests, in a receiving line, by going to each table, or both. And definitely don't do it in lieu of sending personalized thank-you notes for gifts, which is a must.

justsie · March 2016

If I went to a wedding and saw a general thank you note at my place setting I would initially think "Oh wow how sweet" and then when I looked around and saw that everyone else got the exact same thing I'd think "Oh, Pintrest" and would become concerned that you meant this to be your actual "thank you for coming" instead of personal visits. I'd just skip them and put the money elsewhere.

MairePoppy · March 2016

Be careful, Pinterest is full of bad ideas. There is nothing personal about a generic thank you for attending note left at each place setting. Are the notes intended to take the place of favors? If so, you can skip them, since favors aren't required. You should greet every guest at your reception and thank them for coming. The wedding reception is your thank you to guests for attending the ceremony, no need to write thank you notes for attendance. Personal, handwritten thank you notes should be sent to anyone who gives you a gift.

Maggie0829 · March 2016

Well seeing as the reception is in itself a thank you to the guests, a generic thank you note at each place setting is redundant and super impersonal.

Personal interaction > a generic thank you note.

spockforprez · March 2016

I went to a wedding where they did this. It wasn't rude or anything, just a little cheesy IMO. The messages are usually super over the top, language wise, and so they come off as insincere because of being mass-printed with little curlicues and designs. Plus, you'd spend at least $50 getting them designed, printed, and shipped, I would imagine. Save the $50 and get a gel pedicure or something

Knottie1436436203 · March 2016

It would be a nice idea to thanks your guests on the occasion. Later you may skip anyone by mistake that may create a bad impression. Also people coming to attend your wedding might get overwhelmed by receiving special attention towards guests.

[Deleted User] · March 2016

Knottie1436436203 said:

It would be a nice idea to thanks your guests on the occasion. Later you may skip anyone by mistake that may create a bad impression. Also people coming to attend your wedding might get overwhelmed by receiving special attention towards guests.

what?

MairePoppy · March 2016

Knottie1436436203 said:

It would be a nice idea to thanks your guests on the occasion. Later you may skip anyone by mistake that may create a bad impression. Also people coming to attend your wedding might get overwhelmed by receiving special attention towards guests.

Please improve personal quality.

[Deleted User] · April 2016

We thanked everyone for coming during our toasts, and on the back of our favors, we put a sticker that said, thank you for sharing our special day with us. We sent thank you cards out for the gifts about 2 weeks later. We had 2 guests that didn't bring any gifts, but I still wrote them a Thank you card because they were GM and I wanted to thank them for being special part of our special day because they didn't have to accept being GM.

Thank you cards

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