The little things

Re: The little things

• CMGragain member

  

  March 2016 edited March 2016

  alissakay7 said:

  So while we have all our "big" things booked, I'm starting to get anxiety about all the little things that need to be done.  What are things that you overlooked until the last minute?
  
  I'm also stressing out about our guest list now.  Our venue holds 250 max and while my parents gave me their list of people they would like to invite a long time ago, we had to keep asking my fiancé's parents and they never got back to us so my fiancé finally said screw it and we came up with our list.  We sent our save the dates for our September wedding and now about 2 weeks ago my future father-in-law gave us his list and my future mother-in-law still hasn't given us anything.  So now with his dad's list we are over 320 to invite.  While I know everybody we invite won't come it just stress me knowing we are that much over and that my future in-laws are not being considerate.

  You are not obligated to invite any of the people on your FFIL's list.  He blew  it.
  To how many people did you send the STD's?  You must invite these people.  No wiggle room.
  Now, if there are any spaces left, you can try to fit in a few of your FIL's friends.  You can add to your guest list (if there is room) up until 8 weeks before your wedding, when the invitations are due to be sent out.
  
  What little things are you talking about?  You need a couple who wants to get married, an officiant, a license and legal witnesses.  Since you are inviting guests, you need paper invitations, a seat for every behind, food and drink.  Music and flowers are nice, too.
  

  

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• MesmrEwe member

  

  March 2016

  The only three things you need to get married 1) Someone to marry, 2) A license, and 3) someone to officiate the ceremony.  The rest is window dressing and gravy! 

  Once you invite guests they need to be hosted properly, no guest is a second-class citizen, treat ALL of your guests equally - ultimately, people remember the food and how they were treat the most of any detail if you ask them 5 years later.  That means, if some of your guests get a multi-layer slice of cake with lemon and raspberry fillings, all of your guests need to be served an equal quality/portioned slice!  Things like cash vs. hosted bar, your guests shouldn't have to pay to be guests at your event, please spring for beverages for everyone even if that means a "dry" event is all you can afford.  We had one wedding we went to, the only options to drink were coffee and mimosas - which is great - unless you don't drink coffee or alcohol, and the nature of the venue, there weren't bubblers/water fountains/cold water sink to be hand and the soda machines were shut off. 

  Your FFIL's list - While it sucks, do not send ANY STD to those who are add-ons. Do not invite anyone who is above your room max because worst case situations happen where almost all guests RSVP as attending!  If you're worried about where to cut, do it in circles. 

  Details after cake/food/venue...  Officiant...  Marriage Prep (BIG one - and the best money you'll spend leading up to the wedding is investing into your relationship because this will cover topics that are "push it off until later" type ones that if those aren't in order ahead of time, they won't be nor easier to figure out later (parenting can be a huge deal breaker if you don't go in on the same page even before you decide to/not to have kids - and how many - or if you plan to have them - which if one does and the other doesn't can lead to issues down the road!)...  Flowers..  Cake (GREAT tasting cake/dessert gets eaten - and great tasting cake has a spectrum on the budget, you can have great tasting cake without breaking the bank, but please don't go cheap for cheap's sake, go for delicious first)..

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• MobKaz member

  

  March 2016

  alissakay7 said:

  So while we have all our "big" things booked, I'm starting to get anxiety about all the little things that need to be done.  What are things that you overlooked until the last minute?
  
  I'm also stressing out about our guest list now.  Our venue holds 250 max and while my parents gave me their list of people they would like to invite a long time ago, we had to keep asking my fiancé's parents and they never got back to us so my fiancé finally said screw it and we came up with our list.  We sent our save the dates for our September wedding and now about 2 weeks ago my future father-in-law gave us his list and my future mother-in-law still hasn't given us anything.  So now with his dad's list we are over 320 to invite.  While I know everybody we invite won't come it just stress me knowing we are that much over and that my future in-laws are not being considerate.

  Of the 250 guest allowance, how many did you, your family, and FI invite?  Did you invite all relatives and close friends that FI wanted to include from his side of the family? 
  
  If you gave your FFIL and FMIL a "final call", then it's too bad, so sad for them.  Under no circumstances can you invite more than your venue can hold.  You have not sent out invitations yet, so you do not need to stress about how many people you are "over".  You cannot offer to add these guests on after invitations are sent out, either.  Your IL's just need to accept the consequences of their inaction. 
  

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• AddieCake member

  

  March 2016

  Our cake topper was too big for the small cake we had for cutting (we did cupcakes for the guests), and I forgot to get or ask the florist to put some flowers or something on it. It looked very plain, and I was kicking myself. 
  
  I didnt test my Sole Mates on my shoes until morning of, and they didn't fit. I didn't trust my heels in the grass, so I went barefoot. It ended up being a blessing in disguise because laughing down the aisle about it with my dad is what kept me from being nervous, but I still should have taken care of it sooner. 
  
  The night before, our rehearsal and dinner ran very late, and then I still had to write out directions for the people who were setting up in the morning. I wished I hadn't waited to do that.
  
  
  
  Your fiancé needs to tell his family they missed their chance to have input on the guest list.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• pegasuskat member

  

  March 2016

  When your FI did his list didn't he include the family members he wanted there?  If so, that should cover most of the VIP's from your FIL's lists.  I would try to include a few friends for each IF you have room, the rest your FI needs to tell them they won't be included due to space.  But, you have to invite everybody that got a save the date, and don't invite over capacity, that is a disaster waiting to happen.

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• thefanciestbeckler member

  

  March 2016

  Unless your FILs are helping pay for the wedding, they don't get a say in the guest list. Surely your FI's guest list included family members who are important to him on his side.
  
  Now, if your FILs are contributing to the wedding, that's a different story. In that case, they do get a say in the guest list and you shouldn't have booked a venue until you knew how large the guest list would be.
  

  
  

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