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Programs & Listing Step-Parents

CJ4578CJ4578 member
500 Comments
in North Carolina
Alrighty so...

I wasn't going to do programs (my paper budget is gone) but FI wants them so I was looking on Etsy. I realized that most of the programs have it worded "Parents of the Bride" and then list the parents's names underneath. Both my parents and FI's parents are divorced, but both our mothers kept our fathers' last names. (So listing them together would make it seem as if they were married.) Also, both our fathers' remarried/have partners. Any idea how to tackle this? FI is super close with his dad's partner, and views him as a third parent, whereas I haven't seen my stepmother in 3 years and never talk to her (we're just not close, my dad married her when I was 18 so we've just never had that "I'm your stepmom" relationship.) Also, my mother will freak out if my stepmother is mentioned under "parents." But we're pretty sure she's going to freak out about something, so I'm less worried about that.

So, in a perfect world I might do something like this:

Parents of the Bride
C's Mom
C's Dad & C's Stepmom

Parents of the Groom
FI's Mom
FI's Dad & FI's Dad's Partner

If for some reason I just, say, don't hand my mom a program, I think this might work... but has anyone seen it other ways/have any ideas?
-- C
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Re: Programs & Listing Step-Parents

  • TinyTRex321TinyTRex321 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think the way you proposed doing it would work well other than your mom being upset about it.  I mean I think she will end up seeing the program even if she isn't handed one.

    Could you talk to your mom about it before hand? So if she does get upset it doesn't happen on your wedding day.  Maybe ask for her advice on how you should list the parents? Explaining that you are putting FH's dad's partner on there and you feel like you should also put your step mom? Saying that is does not reflect that you think as your Step Mom as your mom and all that good stuff? Also point out that you are putting her name first.
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  • meredithl618meredithl618 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Okay, so I think you have quite a lot of options on how you want to do this.  You can do it like that above, but if you think your mom would be upset, then don't.  Here  are some links to similar questions: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080401133220AAYKkZr, http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080606120300AAAnR2M.

    Unrelated, you should consider DIYing your programs, rather than Etsy, if you have a limited budget.  You could make them soo cheaply, just get some paper and ribbon (optional) and print them at home, voila. I made my progam booklets, they were really involved, but I know you could do it really easily.  Let me know if you want help setting it up or making a template.  

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  • alliegator8alliegator8 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would also look into vista prints.  I did our invitations on there.  They came out beautiful! and it was only $60 with shipping for 150 of them.  They had some nice program layouts too.
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  • alliegator8alliegator8 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    And I think the way you have it above is fine.  Of course you could always just leave your dad's wife off the program since you are not close.  Or you could just opt not to have any parents names on there.
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  • CJ4578CJ4578 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the help! I originally didn't even think of putting my step-mother on there, but I didn't want my dad to be offended if he saw that we listed FI's dad's partner on there and not my step-mom.

    Meredith I may take you up on that- I'm sort of terrible at DIY projects so I'm a bit gun-shy!


    -- C
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  • meredithl618meredithl618 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Corinne, YGPM. 

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  • ashstwrtashstwrt
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yours is definitely more complicated than mine, but I basically did what you suggested.  My parents are still married and his are divorced.  He grew up with his mom and stepdad, but he also has a dad and stepmom.  We did:

    Parents of the Bride
    Bob and Sue Smith

    Parents of the Groom
    Joe and Jane Johnson (real mom and stepdad)
    Jack and Jill Jefferson (real dad and stepmom)

    Haha do you like my names?? Anyway, I like the way you have it and I think your mom will just have to get over it.  A stepmom is a "parent" as far as wedding programs are concerned whether she really did anything to raise you or not, in my opinion.  The stepmom would feel so left out if you left her off and included literally every other parental figure.
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