My whole life/marriage is a lie

ShesSoCold · March 2016

I feel like my marriage is a sham and I cannot trust my husband.

He's never eaten a burrito. Ever.

How does that even happen? How does one go through life like this? How do I go on in life knowing this? How do I trust a man who doesn't even know about burritos?

madamerwin · March 2016

Your post title scared me for a minute!

But seriously. How did he let that happen? How did you not know about this before you married him?

Everyone knows burritos are a superior food format. You must rectify this.

Lala9414 · March 2016

oh this scared me too! lol but honestly get that man a burrito ASAP!!!!

mrsk616 · March 2016

WTF!!! get that man a burrito, me who dislikes burritos has had one. ok maybe a few lol

short+sassy · March 2016

Whoa! That is mind boggling. Even McDonald's has breakfast burritos nowadays. Does he not like tortillas and so never wanted to try one? Has he at least ever eaten a tortilla!?! I can't even make that basic assumption, based on your post, lol.

I dated a guy in college who had only eaten like 10 things in his entire life...until he met me. And it was all stuff like hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken fingers, turkey sandwiches, apples. I think apples were the only fruit he had ever tried. It was super weird and growing up like that damages people! Not a shock, he grew up to be an extremely picky eater.

ShesSoCold · March 2016

He thinks it's funny that it's bothering me. I told him I was making burritos for dinner. He told me he'd unwrap it and eat it like a giant taco just to piss me off.

short+sassy · March 2016

Blasphemy!!! He just doesn't know yet, he just doesn't know...of the awesome convenience of having so much goodness wrapped up together in such a wonderful package. I'm trying to calm down, lol.

glasgowtolondon · March 2016

You have to wonder...what else has your H not eaten?? Right now it's just burritos but before you know it he's admitting he's never even touched an enchilada.

We have been known to get burritos delivered when we are very hungover. Yum.

levioosa · March 2016

First a burrito, next, an entire second family.

kvruns · March 2016

does he eat soft tacos? Or burrito bowls?

thefanciestbeckler · March 2016

My heart is breaking for you, SSC.

Image: http://mashable.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/crying-waterfalls.gif

kmmssg · March 2016

OMG. What else don't you know about this man? Is fajitas next? If he isn't going to eat his dinner correctly then throw him the box of Cheerios and you eat the burritos. I am worried about this. Who surrounds themselves with that kind of negativity? We are here for you, don't think you have to walk this road alone.

ShesSoCold · March 2016

He's never had a burrito bowl but he likes soft tacos.

This may or may not stem from this weird food grudge he holds against his mom. Apparently she only served flour tortillas when he was a kid. When he discovered corn tortillas as a teenager, he loved them and he will not let his mom forget the pain she caused him for keeping him from corn tortillas. He still won't eat anything containing bananas or strawberries because his mom made him take a bit of them when he was a toddler.

He's a pretty adventurous eater and definitely not one of those super picky people. He tries new things and he actually had his first enchilada a few months ago.

He has had a McDonalds breakfast burrito, but that doesn't count.

madamerwin · March 2016

ShesSoCold said:

He's never had a burrito bowl but he likes soft tacos.
This may or may not stem from this weird food grudge he holds against his mom. Apparently she only served flour tortillas when he was a kid. When he discovered corn tortillas as a teenager, he loved them and he will not let his mom forget the pain she caused him for keeping him from corn tortillas. He still won't eat anything containing bananas or strawberries because his mom made him take a bit of them when he was a toddler.
He's a pretty adventurous eater and definitely not one of those super picky people. He tries new things and he actually had his first enchilada a few months ago.
He has had a McDonalds breakfast burrito, but that doesn't count.

Well I guess that's something? Just get him a wet burrito, it's basically just a giant enchilada. Maybe that will be more palatable for him.

vikinganna87 · March 2016

I can't imagine life without burritos. One of the few things I miss about Boston is the abundance of good, cheap burrito options.

We just got back from vacation in the Florida Keys and H was totally blown away by blackened Mahi-mahi. He'd never had anything blackened before --like chicken, fish... I never really thought twice about it since I thought blackened was a relatively common style of cooking meat.

TNDancer · March 2016

I just found out my H eats string cheese like a heathen. You are SUPPOSED to peel it. That's part of the fun.

levioosa · March 2016

TNDancer said:

I just found out my H eats string cheese like a heathen. You are SUPPOSED to peel it. That's part of the fun.

OMG, SO did this the other day too. I was like, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING." His excuse was that it all goes to the same place and takes the same form. Um, so? Do you want all your food pureed from now on? Because that's the logic you're going with.

CharmedPam · March 2016

You know, my mom did that too. We only had flour tortillas growing up. I went out with my friends and the waitress asked "corn or flour?" and I looked at her like 'what do you mean? there's only one option....' and my friend jumped in "corn! she wants corn". I'm glad she spoke for me.

thefanciestbeckler · March 2016

levioosa said:

TNDancer said:

I just found out my H eats string cheese like a heathen. You are SUPPOSED to peel it. That's part of the fun.

OMG, SO did this the other day too. I was like, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING." His excuse was that it all goes to the same place and takes the same form. Um, so? Do you want all your food pureed from now on? Because that's the logic you're going with.

Yep, DH does this too. I looked at him in utter disbelief and said "what on earth are you doing?" and he said "eating cheese". NO, sorry DH, it is not JUST CHEESE. It is meant to be peeled. I can't even believe his utter disrespect for string cheese.

thisismynickname2 · March 2016

Oh man. I just heard a comedian do a whole bit about Mexican food. "What's a taco?" -- "Meat, beans, and cheese." "What's a burrito?" "Meat, beans, and cheese." "What's a fajita?" "Meat, beans, and cheese."

But oh yeah, my life changed after having corn shells over flour shells.

sparklepants41 · March 2016

My mom also only served flour tortillas. And I still love them. But when I met H several years ago, he introduced me to the world of corn tortillas. My tacos were never the same.

I could not imagine going through life without ever having any kind of burrito, however. Wow.

But I did recently give H a similarly major scare a couple of weeks ago when I finally confessed to never having eaten fried dough. I kid you not, the blood actually drained from his face. And then - after a very long silence - he said, "Welp, I guess that means we will be going to a lot of super sketchy fairs this summer so you can eat fried dough."

levioosa · March 2016

thisismynickname said:

Oh man. I just heard a comedian do a whole bit about Mexican food. "What's a taco?" -- "Meat, beans, and cheese." "What's a burrito?" "Meat, beans, and cheese." "What's a fajita?" "Meat, beans, and cheese."

But oh yeah, my life changed after having corn shells over flour shells.

That's Jim Gaffigan. The sketch cracks me up. "I worked at a Mexican restaurant in Indiana....because that's where you want to go for Mexican food..."

drunkenwitch · March 2016

This is just like the time I found out BF had never seen Footloose. How did he go 36 years without fully understanding the power of Kevin Bacon? HOW??!!!

ShesSoCold · March 2016

I don't peel string cheese either. And I've never seen Footloose.

Maybe I deserved my fate.

charlotte989875 · March 2016

You're going to change his life.

madamerwin · March 2016

ShesSoCold said:

I don't peel string cheese either. And I've never seen Footloose.
Maybe I deserved my fate.

I have a hybrid string cheese eating method: I bite off about the top third, then I string the rest of it. I give my pup tiny pieces of the string, but only when H is not around.

I have also never seen Footloose. And I found out the other night that H has never seen The Graduate, which shocked me. I am renting it posthaste.

ShesSoCold · March 2016

@sparklepants41 - that is disturbing. Fried dough/elephant ears is in my top 5 favorite foods. Before H and I got fat, I used to get the frozen dinner roll dough and fry those - tasted just like the fairs. I gotta do that again.

sparklepants41 · March 2016

ShesSoCold said:

@sparklepants41 - that is disturbing. Fried dough/elephant ears is in my top 5 favorite foods. Before H and I got fat, I used to get the frozen dinner roll dough and fry those - tasted just like the fairs. I gotta do that again.

I know. I'm so sorry to come at you with that kind of horrifying information. Also, if you lived closer, you could come with us on our sketchy fair crawl / flight of fried dough.

TNDancer · March 2016

I accidently bought uncooked tortillas at the store the other day. Have y'all had them? You just put them in the pan for like a minute an it is awesome!

madamerwin · March 2016

TNDancer said:

I accidently bought uncooked tortillas at the store the other day. Have y'all had them? You just put them in the pan for like a minute an it is awesome!

Yes! They are WAY better than normal tortillas!

kvruns · March 2016

I think I have the u/o here because I don't like corn tortillas unless it is in the form of a hard taco shell. Otherwise it is flour all the way

My whole life/marriage is a lie

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