Push the wedding back? XP

Re: Push the wedding back? XP

• ShesSoCold mod

  

  December 2015

  A lot of the posters here go to different boards. Please put "XP" (cross post) in your subject line if you're going to post to multiple boards.

  
  

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• Heffalump member

  

  December 2015 edited December 2015

  Knottie1436125977 said:

  Here lately, my fiance has been acting really strange, and it all started happening after we went to my mom's wedding. Both of my parents are on their third marriage, and his parents are on their second. Ever since the wedding, he has been acting different and wants to push the wedding back. I think alot of it has to do with nerves and because he is scared because we are about to make a huge commitment to each other (I'm scared too and I told him it's normal. We got engaged the past June and are getting married in July 2016. We have already paid half the payment down for lodging and the venue for the ceremony and the reception. We have also sent out a couple save the dates, bought my wedding dress, and some of my bridal party has bought theirs. What do I do? I don't want him to be unhappy, but I also want to keep the date the same.
  
  Anyone feel free to help and share your advice!
  Confused Brided
  

  If he's not ready to get married, then he's not ready to get married, regardless of deposits and STDs.  When you say that you want to keep the date the same, is it for logistical or emotional reasons?
  
  If it's logistical, I would talk to your vendors right away.  They may be able to transfer your deposits to a future date (when that's decided), or some of they may even refund it if they're able to book someone else in your place.  so the sooner the better on that.  You'll have to eat the STDs, but that's a relatively small price to pay, in the grand scheme of things.
  
  It sounds like you and your FI have some things to work through.  I would strongly consider counseling, if you aren't already.
  

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• MesmrEwe member

  

  December 2015

  If one of you isn't ready to be married, you BOTH aren't ready to be married!  As the PP suggested, premarital counseling is definitely what the next step is.  This isn't a big deal as it's required by many churches before a couple can even schedule their wedding date!  This money is the best money you can spend before the wedding as it's investing into the two of you and your lives together as a married couple, not just one day of your lives.  We went through it as part of our marriage prep and it was worth it because there were "Taboo topics" that were delved into that made situations in our married life that we never could have anticipated otherwise a million times easier because we'd already considered those situations. 

  Off as it may sound, losing deposits, paying for BM dresses as a gesture, etc. is FAR cheaper than a divorce if he's just not ready for all that marriage is.  This is all stuff that only the two of you can answer together.  Who knows, the situation may be as simple as he doesn't want to be a "groom" or anything associated with a "wedding"..   

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• lnixon8 member

  

  December 2015

  Are you actually scared or are you nervous? I don't think it's that normal for both people going into a marriage to be "scared".
  
  

  
  
  

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• *Barbie* member

  

  December 2015

  I would recommend discussing it like adults and figuring out what you want to do ASAP. Postponing or cancelling now is going to be cheaper than a divorce later. 

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• Knottie1436125977 member

  

  April 2016

  Thank yall for all your responses. We talked it over and decided to push the wedding back. We would rather push it than get married and not be ready and have it end in divorce. Everything couldn't be better between the two of us!
  

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• glasgowtolondon member

  

  April 2016

  It sounds like you've made the right decision for you both. Good luck to you!

               

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