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Totally 'fine' with it...totally.

Dear Prudence,
I’m a bisexual man in a happy, monogamous relationship. My wife is fine with my sexuality but does not want me to talk about it with other people. She especially does not want me talking about it around her friends, many of whom are gay men, for fear that they would start hitting on me. (I think maybe she also worries that they would make fun of me—although we all get along great.) She also does not want me to contact an ex-lover, who was also my best friend for a long time (although admittedly this was years ago). I’m not particularly bothered by these “conditions,” but I would like to speak to this guy at least once again in my life, and it might be nice to have people with whom I could openly discuss my sexuality.

—She’s Honestly Fine With It

Re: Totally 'fine' with it...totally.

  • So, this man has to suffer bi-erasure already (because he is in what will be presumed to be a heteronormative relationship) and now his wife wants to compound it by refusing to even allow him to discuss it?  No, NO.

    No, she's not okay with the fact that he's slept with other men.  Or that he could consider it in the future.  Or fantasize about it now. At all.
  • Yea - she's fine with it for others, just not herself when put in the IRL situation...  Moving on....

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  • Lifetime bans on communication rarely end well. 
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