Dear Prudence,
After witnessing so many people lose their homes during the recession, my husband and I made the decision to buy a house that was easily affordable, rather than a bigger, more expensive one. Our house is enough for a family of four and is located in a decent neighborhood. This decision has allowed us to save for our children’s college education and an early retirement fund. My sister-in-law and her husband earn much less than we do and bought a larger, more expensive house in an upper-middle-class neighborhood. They’ve always made snide remarks about how much nicer their house is than ours, even refusing to stay overnight when visiting from out of town because “it’s insufferably small.” Two months ago, she lost her job, and they have fallen behind on their mortgage payments. My husband and I have the money to help them out, although it means cutting back significantly on making contributions to our retirement savings and no more family vacations until she can find a new job. In the past, I have been more than happy to help other family members when they need it. Is it vindictive that I do not want to help my SIL out of her financial mess? Do I need to be the “bigger person,” as my husband has argued?