I was adopted as a baby and was never told anything about my birth parents, except that they were unmarried and couldn’t take care of me. My adoptive parents divorced when I was 5. I would consider them my caretakers, not parents. I now live several states away from them and rarely see them. Here, most people would say that I should find my birth parents. But I don’t want to find them. Part of this is fear: I already have two parents who are indifferent to me. I don’t want it confirmed that my birth parents are, too.
It might be nice to meet my birth parents, but I don’t really want a relationship with them. When I’ve told people this, they think I am strange. But I am happy with my life as it is. I have close friends and have had several fulfilling romantic relationships, even though my last boyfriend ended things because he said I didn’t really know what family is since I’m not in touch with my own. Does every adoptive child need to discover their heritage?
—Don’t Want to Find My Family