Wedding Woes

Prudie's response included.

Dear Prudence,
A while ago, I found out my husband was cheating on me, and we separated. In the meantime, I fell in love with a friend, and he said he wanted to get married. The other night, the friend came over and, for the first time, we had a sexual encounter. The next day I told him that I thought it had happened too soon. He was ecstatic about the encounter and angry that I felt bad. Since then, we haven’t talked about it, and he hasn’t asked me how I’m doing. The situation is complicated, to be fair, because I’m not yet divorced and I still see my husband a lot, so this guy and I aren’t able to date for real. But suddenly I’m starting to feeling like a high school girl who just “doesn’t get it” instead of a 42-year-old woman. He’s acting like things are normal, but why wouldn’t he ask me how I’m doing after I said I was struggling? Am I just changing one bad guy for another?

—Jerk Exchange

Yes.

Re: Prudie's response included.


  • I'm with Prudie.

    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • So, I am one of handful of women, around my age, all married around the same length of time, recently divorced/divorcing.  It's bizarre b/c we all became close B/C of the similarities, so not really good friends before.

    It seems that the first person out of the gate that you date is BAD.  It's bad Bad BAD.  It's always BAD.  Out of 7 women, not one post-divorce dating relationship has gone well at all.   Thankfully, at our age, most of seem to have been able to say, "Peace out," w/o too much drama.  

    LW just needs to accept that this one isn't happening and move on.
  • @VarunaTT - I know an exception to that. A friend of mine got divorced ~4 years ago and started dating a guy right after it was finalized. (About 5 months after she filed). They will be married for 2 years in October. He's a great guy, and awesome stepdad to her little boy. 

    Her ex is a douchenugget, but is (finally) starting to be a better dad. 
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited May 2016
    *Barbie* said:
    @VarunaTT - I know an exception to that. A friend of mine got divorced ~4 years ago and started dating a guy right after it was finalized. (About 5 months after she filed). They will be married for 2 years in October. He's a great guy, and awesome stepdad to her little boy. 

    Her ex is a douchenugget, but is (finally) starting to be a better dad. 
    One of my BFF's was divorced 3-4 years ago and same thing, she's now with a great guy (also divorced).  They have 5 kids between the two of them.  They got married last July. 

    Their exes both suck.  And their life is insane with the kids (ranging from 5-12ish) being in all sorts of activities, plus 50/50 custody on both sides (I think they get, like, one weeknight every other week where they don't have any kids and I think they are now on every other weekend...she's told me her schedule a frillion times, and I still cannot make head's or tails of it), but they make it work and seem to be happy together.  I love their Brady Bunch and all the kids are really good kids. 
  • My friend's H was never married, no kids, and about ~7 years older than her (She's late 30's, he's mid-40's), so she was a little wary at first, but she gave him a shot and it worked out well.  

    Her ex is engaged, and is getting married this year. His fiance is the woman he was (we assume) cheating on her with (at least one of them). She moved into the house with her 2 kids within a week of my friend moving out. 
  • I don't think any of us made it to "relationship" status with any of ours.  It was like...maybe a month long?  There's only been 2 of us who have what could be considered relationships now.  K and I are just in an easy place of, You're my GF, that's enough for now, other friend has found guy she's going to marry, IMHO.

    The rest are still bouncing about either single or just fun dating, depending on where they are in their journey.  There might've been a running joke about my "vag-about" for awhile (like a walk about, but...well, you get it).  ;)
  • Anyone who gets ANGRY because someone says things are moving too fast physically is just a douche.  That's ridiculous.  She needs to step away from all romantic relationships for a little while.  

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  • monkeysip said:
    Anyone who gets ANGRY because someone says things are moving too fast physically is just a douche.  That's ridiculous.  She needs to step away from all romantic relationships for a little while.  
    Not just a douche, but potentially dangerous. And she definitely needs to get far, far away from this guy. 
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