Momzilla on the loose

Re: Momzilla on the loose

• ShesSoCold mod

  

  July 2016

  Knottie1447869275 said:

  I'm less than two weeks out from my wedding, and apparently it's become invasion of the bodysnatchers with my parents. I've been told not to say its my day, she's pretty much telling the bridesmaids what to do down to the final details (i mean final details nail polish color etc..). She's pretty much implied without saying it that she disagrees with the music I've chosen. Going to dad is out of the question because he sides with my mom. I'm supposed to be excited, and instead of being excited I'm stressed out from dealing with this. Any advice on how to handle a momzilla without evolving into a bridezilla?

  To the bolded, she's right about that. The rest of the 7 billion people in the world will also experience that particular day. Weird crap like nail polish? Tell your friends not to listen to her and wear whatever nail polish they want. Be firm with your mom and follow through with what you say. For example, "Mom, stop communicating with the bridesmaids. If you continue to micromanage, I will have to ask that you not spend the morning with us on the day of the wedding." Then if she doesn't, don't let her.
  

  
  

  Report15 Reply
• AddieCake member

  

  July 2016

  Tell your mom and your bridesmaids that she is not in charge of such details. 

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

  Report5 Reply
• bleve0821 member

  

  July 2016

  Agree with PP, but just wanted to add.  Your mom is entitled to her opinions, and unless she's the one paying for the DJ, she's allowed to have them.  If she is paying for the DJ, then what is the harm in throwing in a few selections that do make her happy?
  
  I don't know why you can't just be adult with her instead of circumventing her to go to your dad.  What is he going to do, even if he wasn't "taking sides"?  Imagine how that must feel to have dad say to her, "Honey, Knottie#s is upset because you don't like the music and are picking out nail polish for the bridesmaids, but she wanted me to talk to you about it instead."  Of course dad is going to take her side.
  
  Just have an adult conversation with her and set boundaries.

  
  

  "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
  

  --Philip Pullman

  
  

  Report9 Reply
• Jen4948 member

  

  July 2016 edited July 2016

  How much is your mother paying for? She is entitled to a say about anything she is paying for (although not veto power).
  
  I would ignore a lot of what your mother is doing.
  
  Tell your bridesmaids to wear whatever nail polish colors they like.
  
  If your mother isn't paying for the DJ, then she doesn't get a say about what music he plays. Tell the DJ that only you and your FI are authorized to speak to him or make song selections. (Of course, if your mother is contributing to his cost, then she does get a say.)
  
  Beyond that, take your mother aside and tell her, "Mom, it is not my day, but it is also not your day. The wedding is not yours to control. It is not up to you what my bridesmaids wear or what music the DJ plays, or any other aspect that you are not paying for. Your unsolicited negative opinions are not appreciated, and if you don't stop complaining and trying to give orders about every aspect of the wedding, I will stop discussing the plans with you and including you in them."
  
  
  

  Report4 Reply
• sparklepants41 member

  

  July 2016

  Why does it matter what color nail polish the BP wears???

  

  Report3 Reply
• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  July 2016

  Whatever your mom is paying for she has a say in... so if she's footing the DJ bill, she does have a say in the music. Money often does come with strings.

  If you're paying for everything, just tell your BMs and your vendors to smile and nod and then ignore her.

  *********************************************************************************

  
  

  

  Report1 Reply
• ILoveBeachMusic member

  

  July 2016

  I think it would be nice for you to give her a few song selections even if she isn't paying for the DJ. If your wedding is like DD's, there will be people of varying ages attending. Your Mom's selections might be taking her age group's music preferences in mind. That being said, we gave DD a list of songs to pick a few from for us. The DJ didn't play any of them. We had several couples attending that love dancing to older songs (Sinatra-ish). Unfortunately we didn't get to do so.

  Report1 Reply