Why the hate on robes?

SaintPaulGal · July 2016

So I have seen a number of comments scattered across these boards along the lines of "ugg...bridal party robes!" I didn't want to derail any of those other topics, but I'm curious why there is so much shade being thrown on this idea. It's obviously one of a billion unnecessary little extras that the wedding industrial complex wants to make us believe we "need," but there seems to be a special slice of hate on robes that doesn't seem to attach to other such frivolities. What's up with that?

ETA: I'm not pro-robe or anti-robe personally. I'm just curious what it's all about.

climbingsingle · July 2016

For me personally, it's this. I have no desire to have to wear a robe just for pictures, and that's really what this trend is about. Taking a picture of you and your BP in robes. I don't ever want to be photographed in a robe. I love robes. I wear one after every shower. It's grey and soft and comfy. And I never want there to be a picture of me in it.

It's also wasteful. Chances are these robes will be worn once and tossed aside. Again, all of this just for a picture.

Also, I'm 35 years old. I will happily put on a bridesmaids dress of your choosing, but for the love of god, don't tell me what I have to wear to get ready. Getting ready in a robe is not comfortable. You're constantly readjusting it to make sure it stays in place.

Also, why do you need a picture of people in robes? I'l never understand this? Are you going to blow up that picture and hang it in your house? It will likely never see the light of day after you look at your pictures after the wedding.

STARMOON44 · July 2016

Because making people dress up in matching robes, which are generally a private item of clothing, isn't particularly nice.

southernbelle0915 · July 2016

I think it's a number of things: 1) the garment itself, 2) "because omg pictures" and 3) when it's "the BM gift"

1) I know very few (if any, really) people who actually wear robes regularly. It's one step above underwear. Which leads me to #2.

2) I don't know of anyone who likes getting photographed in their underwear. And let's be honest, if you're going to frame a pic of your BMs to put in your house, it's probably going to be one where everyone's in their dresses (at least I'd hope so). Also, I'd be pissed if someone put a picture of me half ready in a robe on social media or in a wedding album they're going to let people paw through. So since these pics aren't (shouldn't) really going anywhere, what's the point?

3) This is a terrible, thoughtless, garbage BM gift.

cowgirl8238 · July 2016

I think the general hate comes from the fact that the robes are placed above the Bridesmaids Comfort!

I agree with the PPs here on this as well. It is just for pictures that you will never frame, or really look at again. If you did keep it, I wouldn't want a photo of me in an album or on Facebook in a robe...I am NOT Comfortable wearing those skimpy silky robes in front of a bunch of other women/photographer(s) and then having others look at said picture!

Also, I'm a larger woman, with larger breasts and robes never want to stay closed! This leaves little room for modesty in them for me.

Ultimately it is a "vision" for a pretty picture over the comfort of the people you care the most about.

charlotte989875 · July 2016

If all I had to do was throw on a robe over some yoga pants and a tank top I wouldn't complain (too much). But if you want me to wear that over my underwear in a room of people I may or may not know well (including photographers I just met 20 minutes ago) the answer is no.

Im not super comfortable with my body these days, but even if I was, I just don't get the point of asking your friends to wear a particular type of "loungewear" that is typically only worn in private, in front of a bunch of other people and pictures.

AddieCake · July 2016

I do not like to get ready in a robe. I wear a robe every time I get out of the shower, but it bugs me to wear it while I get ready. So I change into something else. Me wearing a robe just so a bride could get "cute pics" would cut into my actual getting ready and annoy me.

lyndausvi · July 2016

I get out of a shower, dry my body, wrap the towel around my head and then put on a robe. Then I immediately dry my hair, then get dressed. Total time in a robe is about 10 min, 15 mins max.

I didn't even wear a robe getting ready for my own wedding, certainly wouldn't wear one for someone else's.

CMGragain · July 2016

I just hate waste and unnecessary expense.

ei34 · July 2016

Is the bride giving me a Hotel Collection, Turkish cotton robe wrapped in a box for me to wear after her wedding in the comfort of my own home? Or am I being asked to put on a flimsy silk pastel-colored robe that accentuates my flat chest and big ass matching a bunch of other women and smiling for the photographer? The latter is what I think of when I hear "bridal party robes" - see the difference?

OurWildKingdom · July 2016

eileenrob said:

Is the bride giving me a Hotel Collection, Turkish cotton robe wrapped in a box for me to wear after her wedding in the comfort of my own home? Or am I being asked to put on a flimsy silk pastel-colored robe that accentuates my flat chest and big ass matching a bunch of other women and smiling for the photographer? The latter is what I think of when I hear "bridal party robes" - see the difference?

Right! I would *never* make our bridesmaids wear something I wouldn't be comfortable wearing. I'm 5'10", so most robes are too short anyway, and I'm built like the Venus of Willendorf. No way in hell would I wear a typical bridal party robe.

[Deleted User] · July 2016

Comfort level and unnecessary waste/expense manufactured by the wedding industry are my two big issues. Extra points if they're "gifts"

jacques27 · July 2016

1. I'm very picky about robes. I hate tie robes. I own two robes and they are both zip up and functional (one terrycloth for after the shower and one super heavy long robe for when the power goes out in the winter and I'm freezing). I do not wear flimsy short robes. I do not otherwise lounge around in a robe and don't personally know anyone who does (outside of tv and movies).

2. I barely tolerate the idea of being photographed while curling my hair or trying to apply mascara, and even less so wearing something I'm not comfortable in.

3. I'm not interested in being someone's prop and manufacturing artificial memories for them. I'm interested in what is. I personally would rather see photos of my friends exactly as they are with their own styles and personalities - that's why I love them and want them by my side. It's one thing if they all like matching flimsy robes and come to that on their own, but I think it's different when it's presented as a gift when it's solely to manufacture or playact a pinterest board. That is not a gift.

100yroldblinddog · July 2016

I have a robe horror story!

A friend of mine, whom I love otherwise, made the error of 'gifting' us bridesmaids monogrammed robes for her getting ready pictures of us in a weird bed pyramid formation, and it was horrible. They were 'one size fits all', according to the tag. Not for my cans though. I'm also a very private person anyway, so having a purple robe gapping at the boobs that came down to my mid-thigh was pretty uncomfortable. HOWEVER, I'm sure I was not nearly as uncomfortable as my friend's other bridemaid, a lovely plus-sized girl who had to pose for the photo with the robe completely open (showcasing her white tank top and shorts), which only drew more attention to how not 'one size fits all' the robes were.

I have no idea what ever came of the photo, but I do know that my Goodwill now has a purple robe with the initials MLM on it.

ETA: the other bridesmaid was not forced to bare all. The shitshow stopped just short of that.

OurWildKingdom · July 2016

@100yroldblinddog, that story is the perfect example of why robes are a bad idea.

[Deleted User] · July 2016

As a bride, I didn't even want my pictures done before I was ready, I wasn't about to do that to my BM. Plus we all had our hair & makeup done separately & just met at the church for lunch & to get changed. It didn't make sense for us to change into robes for photos & then change into our dresses. Also to save on money, we didn't have the photographer come until we were ready. Plus my friends aren't into silk robes, they are more into comfy things, so the robes would have been a waste of time.

SP29 · July 2016

Agree with the above.

As the bride, I didn't want "getting ready" photos. I am not going to get them blown up and placed them framed in my home. I'm not likely to look back fondly on them.

If I were a bridesmaid... I dress fairly modestly. There are parts of me that I don't like to bare for all (my skin hyper-pigments easily, so I have various little marks from things like shaving and acne), so no, I don't want to be told "you HAVE to wear this" knowing it shows the parts I don't want to be memorialized in a photo. This would only make me self conscious and feel un-pretty. Yet if you let me dress the way I like and suits my body, I will happily pose in pictures.

An old co-worker of mine who is on my FB was a bridesmaid recently. There was a photo posted on FB (!) with the bride + bridal party wearing matching nighties! At least it was a one piece tank top+ shorts, but still. Of course they are all thin and gorgeous, but people do post these photos publicly. When I looked at the photo, I thought, "I would NOT be cool with that!".

Why the hate on robes?

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