Bride vs. Groom opinion on suits

Knottie1452573339 · August 2016

Honestly when you ask anyone to be in your bridal party they know they are going to have to spend money. I'd obviously make sure everyone can afford it but they should already know they're gonna have to spend some cash. I went to a wedding were they asked my brother to be a GM and just purchase a black suit. Black. Easy enough. When they were all standing at the altar you could tell one of them had a different shade of black. Had it been more than one maybe it wouldn't have mattered but only one of them was wearing a different shade. Personally I thought it looked very silly and not thought out. But it's a preference thing I guess. Whatever will make you guys happy. Simple as that

ernursej · August 2016

Knottie1452573339 said:

Honestly when you ask anyone to be in your bridal party they know they are going to have to spend money. I'd obviously make sure everyone can afford it but they should already know they're gonna have to spend some cash. I went to a wedding were they asked my brother to be a GM and just purchase a black suit. Black. Easy enough. When they were all standing at the altar you could tell one of them had a different shade of black. Had it been more than one maybe it wouldn't have mattered but only one of them was wearing a different shade. Personally I thought it looked very silly and not thought out. But it's a preference thing I guess. Whatever will make you guys happy. Simple as that

This couple was being reasonable. Suits that fit are expensive. Most men have a black suit and those that don't may see it as an investment as it is versatile. I would much rather see suits that aren't exactly the same shade knowing that the Groom is thoughtful of the expense on his friends.

FeelTheRain · August 2016

I've never in my entire life been to a wedding where the suits don't match. I'm sure it happens more often than I think but I've never personally seen it. I never said the groomsmen/ushers/dad's couldn't afford the suits FI was picking out with or without the alterations. They are all more then financially capable of purchasing the suits. I was able to talk to the owner of the shop he decided on and they will do the alterations for free as my dad has been a lifelong customer of the shop. We will be purchasing the pocket squares and ties for them. So everything is set. My original question was: Is it rude to not discuss a price point with the guys in the wedding party? I know that bridesmaids are usually more involved in wedding planning and the guys are typically more "tell me what to do and when and then let's go grab a drink and not talk about wedding stuff anymore" mentality. I would like to think that I'm a reasonable person, hence the original question. Everybody has different tastes in what they want their wedding to look like. I don't think it's "unreasonable" to ask everyone to match if everyone else is. If I was the odd man out in a wedding party as the only person who didn't match, I'd feel like an grade-a idiot. As the bride looking at my wedding party, if everyone matched and 1 person stood out - my OCD would hate it. If we had someone who genuinely couldn't afford the suit then we would pay for it. That wasn't my original question. We're not unreasonable. I had a question that, in hind site, I already knew the answer to. I think I just wanted to talk wedding talk honestly. I totally get that everybody has their opinion and god forBID I have a differing point of view from anyone anywhere but I'm kind of over it now. So thank for your advice. Dully noted. Our guys are fine. The wedding party is going to match *Gasp!* *How COULD we??* *Say Whaaaaaat??* I get it. Hopefully this post will be helpful to others but I've moved on now. My matchy matchy wedding party and my drop dead gorgeous FI in his ALSO matching fitted suit *horrors!* will boogie down in matching style happily in 2 months whether anybody on here likes it or not! *drops the mic and walks away* Happy Friday!

OurWildKingdom · August 2016

No need to be so defensive.

ernursej · August 2016

FeelTheRain said:

I've never in my entire life been to a wedding where the suits don't match. I'm sure it happens more often than I think but I've never personally seen it. I never said the groomsmen/ushers/dad's couldn't afford the suits FI was picking out with or without the alterations. They are all more then financially capable of purchasing the suits. I was able to talk to the owner of the shop he decided on and they will do the alterations for free as my dad has been a lifelong customer of the shop. We will be purchasing the pocket squares and ties for them. So everything is set. My original question was: Is it rude to not discuss a price point with the guys in the wedding party? I know that bridesmaids are usually more involved in wedding planning and the guys are typically more "tell me what to do and when and then let's go grab a drink and not talk about wedding stuff anymore" mentality. I would like to think that I'm a reasonable person, hence the original question. Everybody has different tastes in what they want their wedding to look like. I don't think it's "unreasonable" to ask everyone to match if everyone else is. If I was the odd man out in a wedding party as the only person who didn't match, I'd feel like an grade-a idiot. As the bride looking at my wedding party, if everyone matched and 1 person stood out - my OCD would hate it. If we had someone who genuinely couldn't afford the suit then we would pay for it. That wasn't my original question. We're not unreasonable. I had a question that, in hind site, I already knew the answer to. I think I just wanted to talk wedding talk honestly. I totally get that everybody has their opinion and god forBID I have a differing point of view from anyone anywhere but I'm kind of over it now. So thank for your advice. Dully noted. Our guys are fine. The wedding party is going to match *Gasp!* *How COULD we??* *Say Whaaaaaat??* I get it. Hopefully this post will be helpful to others but I've moved on now. My matchy matchy wedding party and my drop dead gorgeous FI in his ALSO matching fitted suit *horrors!* will boogie down in matching style happily in 2 months whether anybody on here likes it or not! *drops the mic and walks away* Happy Friday!

I think you might need a cupcake and a drink. Wedding planning is stressful. Putting ideas out on the internet will gather all sorts of replies. If you don't like replies, best not put yourself on the internet.

It is NOT unreasonable to ask people to match. I think it is best to ask everyone in the wedding party for their budget (privately) and then determine how to make it work. Sometimes making it work means matching and other times it means unmatching. Personally, I would still prefer to see unmatched but well fitted suits over matched and ill-fitting suits. I say that from personal experience watching my built like a linebacker FI struggle to work with a rental that is not well fitting. I've seen many weddings with matching suits that look fantastic.

Each situation is different.

monkeysip · August 2016

I feel like there's a post missing. OP got on the defensive and seems really upset for some reason.

I don't think anyone attacked her or said she was unreasonable...

[Deleted User] · August 2016

monkeysip said:

I feel like there's a post missing. OP got on the defensive and seems really upset for some reason.

I don't think anyone attacked her or said she was unreasonable...

I understand her annoyance (not the tone, but the annoyance). She clearly said throughout that they wanted matching suits. And then awhile ago had a "ok, I think we've figured it out! Thanks!" - good natured type of post and the topic basically seemed dropped. She seemed reasonable and there wasn't realky any drama (her FU on the other hand was the one who hadn't asked for the guys budgets ahead of time, but that wasn't her). And then for some reason people started commenting on it again over the last couple of days and only said that that they should just have un matching suits. It probably just came across as beating a dead horse.

redwoodoriginal · August 2016

To answer your original question- yes, I think it's rude not to ask your groomsmen for a budget. What makes them so different from bridesmaids? They may be more easygoing on the outside but every person in life (well maybe except for @Jells2dot0, hah! Jk!) has a budget. its rude to dictate how much of someone else's money they need to spend without consulting them.

Matching people isnt wrong. That's not what people are saying.

ETA: my wonky face at Jells deleted the rest of my comment.

Jells2dot0 · August 2016

redwoodoriginal said:

To answer your original question- yes, I think it's rude not to ask your groomsmen for a budget. What makes them so different from bridesmaids? They may be more easygoing on the outside but every person in life (well maybe except for @Jells2dot0, hah! Jk!) has a budget. its rude to dictate how much of someone else's money they need to spend without consulting them.

Matching people isnt wrong. That's not what people are saying.

ETA: my wonky face at Jells deleted the rest of my comment.

Well, not everyone can be as fabulous as me.

Bride vs. Groom opinion on suits

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