My fiancée is 46, and I am 38, but it seems like he is turning into a cranky old man. When we first started going out a year ago, he was very active, but now I am wondering if it was a show put on for a younger woman. Now I am not sure I should continue the relationship. I am a very active person and have tons of friends, but all he wants to do is lie around in bed. He does not have a lot of friends. I have to drag him out to do anything, and he wants to go to bed early and sleep in late. He is also constantly complaining about physical ailments (his neck, his back, his legs), but when I encourage him to seek medical treatment, he won’t. Honestly, I think he just likes to complain.
He also has become angry and bitter, and it’s bringing me down. I have tried to turn his perspective around, but it never changes. Sex has dwindled to once every two weeks, from every other day (I have a very high sex drive), and he never initiates it. He says I make him happy, but if this is his definition of happy, I don’t know what his definition of unhappy is! Before you say he is depressed, I don’t think that is the case, and even if it was, he would never seek help. He is otherwise kind, loving, and stable, and I am attracted to him. However, this has been getting worse and worse. What do I do?
—How Old Is Too Old?