Wedding Woes

I don't want to go back to the PTSD apartment

Dear Prudence,


My boyfriend and I lived happily together for 10 years in an apartment I own. There was a fire a year ago that destroyed all of our possessions. We have been paying the mortgage all this time while staying with my family, where we have little privacy. During this year we have both lost close family members, and our cats died in a terrible accident. We had some counseling when we were both very depressed, but it is unaffordable at the moment. My boyfriend has PTSD and I have generalized anxiety from the fire. Some neighbors also blame us, even though official report says the cause is unknown. The apartment is still a trigger. My boyfriend and I always dreamed of living elsewhere, but not anywhere specific. Now, when we see the progress of the apartment being almost rebuilt it fills us with dread to think of living there. However, money is tighter than ever and the most secure financial choice is to suck it up and live there. My family says we should stay there and be on the safe side. As impulsive as it sounds, we would like to sell and make a big change. Are we being foolish? Running away from our problems?

—Fear of Fire

Re: I don't want to go back to the PTSD apartment

  • Sell and make a big change!
  • I'd get out of there. 
  • Sell, sell, sell! 

    Once the damage has been fixed, it will be able to be sold as practically brand new.  Hopefully, with the money from the sale, they can find a rental that is affordable and be able to pay for their continued treatments.

  • Sometimes a fresh start is the best solution.  If home doesn't make you feel safe, secure, or triggers anxiety, then it's not a healthy environment.  Maybe LW and BF should start looking at other options, even if it means selling the apartment, continuing to live with family for a while and sacrificing privacy to save some money.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

  • Totally agree. Your own mental health is so much more important than not being impulsive at this time. I'd list it as soon as the work was completed. 
  • GTFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • Agreed with all PPs!

    We had a fire in our old place 14yrs ago. When things were being fixed up, my parents changed what they could drastically because they opted to not move - they also didn't have the same issues as LW

    Since there is obvious issues, SELL! MOVE! GTFO! Maybe change cities?
  • I want to know what happened to the cats.
  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2016

    Take the hit and sell!  Any money spent making the bank happy on the remainder of the mortgage would be money well spent...

    ETA - purchase a decent size set of fire extinguishers and smoke alarms for the next place..

  • Heffalump said:
    I want to know what happened to the cats.
    I'm afraid to know what happened to the cats!  :0
  • Did she not have insurance?  Or is it different for an owned condo/apartment?

    If one of my properties burned to the ground, which is what I am picturing if it took a year to rebuild...even if it was a complex, the insurance pays the bank loan off.  The rest, including contents if it is my personal home, is a check made payable to "shortnsassy".

    I'd take the money and run, run, run...right to my next home.  I could sell the land too.  I'm not going through the stress of a re-build.

    The whole "still paying the mortgage" is what I find confusing. 


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