Wonky Wednesday

short+sassy · October 2016

OliveOilsMom said:

Today started much better for us! The alarm went off for H, so he didn't need to scramble out the door. He did keep waking up and checking the time to make sure he wasn't oversleeping again, so who knows how much sleep he ended up getting!
I got done all of the little things I wanted to do around the house this morning.
And as it seems to go with Betsey, one step forward and two back. While her front shoulders/legs seem to be fine, she has been limping a bit on a back leg. Oh dog! Just walk and stop slipping around! We can't afford to buy anymore area rugs! We also don't have much room to put any - we have filled in so much of the hard wood and laminate already! Hopefully it just needs some time to heal and she will be fine before we go back to the vet in 3 weeks.
Yoga after work and then home for some dinner and relaxing.

Poor Betsey! I would bet dollars to doughnuts that, with her two front legs being injured, she has been compensating by using her back legs more and/or moving the back leg muscles in a different way.

I badly injured my right knee about 18 months ago. So, naturally, I started constantly putting more weight on my left leg. Walking differently than I normally do. Anytime I was standing, I was leaning on the left. Within a couple weeks, my left leg started aching a bit. Weird, little muscles I never realized were there, started hurting.

But, once my right knee healed and I stopped putting more stress on the left one, the aches stopped within a couple days. Hopefully it will be the same for your pupper girl.

Heffalump · October 2016

*Barbie* said:

@Heffalump - is it the Suabru? My Outback generally needs a top off 2x year, and it seems to coincide with the fall/spring weather changes when the light pops off. I've never checked the spare - the light generally goes off within a mile of top off.

Yep, that's the one. And last night was pretty chilly, which definitely could have nudged it below the threshold. After reading some of the PP, I googled and it looks like Subaru does not monitor the spare, just the four that are actually installed, so that's one thing I can rule out. The manual said to give it 5 miles after filling the tires before the indicator goes off, so it's good to know that a mile usually does the trick for you.

Hope you feel better soon!

bleve0821 · October 2016

Happy birthday, @pegasuskat!

thefanciestbeckler said:

charlotte989875 said:

thefanciestbeckler said:

MissKittyDanger said:

thefanciestbeckler said:

@MissKittyDanger I totally understand. I feel that way a lot. One of my best friends (who never had having kids high on her priority list) just had her first. Another one of my best friends has a 2 year old and is pregnant with twins. Actually, nearly every girl at church close to my age is pregnant right now (not exaggerating). It's like I feel left out almost, even though I know right now is clearly not a good time for DH and I to have a baby. But every time I find out one of my friends is pregnant it is a reminder that I'm not getting any younger and neither is DH. You're not alone in that for sure!

Yes! Especially the bolded!
It's crazy and maybe it's society putting pressure on age, etc. also

I have always wanted to have kids at a younger age (under 30). When I was younger I thought for sure I would have at least one, maybe 2 kids by now. So for me it isn't society putting pressure on age, but I could see it being that for some people!
Edited for clarity

Count me in, too.

For me I think part of that irked feeling is that H and I aren't at a point in our lives where we're having the TTC conversation, because things are so unsettled. He's trying to get a new job, we just bought the house, just moved to a new state for jobs, etc. and throwing a baby into the mix isn't right for us right now. But I do wish things were more settled so we could have that conversation, KWIM?

@charlotte989875 yes girl! Totally understand. I keep looking at us and being like "how are we not settled enough for this conversation yet?" We just aren't, though. Too many things are up in the air right now. It irritates me! I'm glad I'm not the only one in this boat.

Part of the feeling for me is that I feel like, well, I'm perfectly happy with my life right now, and I'm not wanting for or missing anything, so it is completely unreasonable for me to feel the way I do about someone else's pregnancy. Rationally, I know I'm not being left out because while we're not currently in a place to TTC, I know it's something that is on the table for the not-so-distant future. But I obviously feel this way for a reason, so maybe I'm not completely happy with my life...? That's the part that bugs me the most, that I feel like my life is incomplete because others are starting families and I am not.

It is unsettling, for me, to feel this way, when rationally I know there's no logical reason for it. H and I just aren't in the right place right now, and logically I know there's nothing wrong with that. But it doesn't change these feelings.

ETA it's a rabbit hole.

MNNEBride · October 2016

Happy Birthday, @pegasuskat! 50 is not so bad...

*Barbie* · October 2016

@charlotte989875 @MissKittyDanger @thefanciestbeckler @AtomicBlonde
(and the others waiting on TTC / having the feels about not having kids yet)

Have you started getting harassed by friends/family on when you're having kids/why don't you have kids yet, etc? I could see that adding to the pressure and resentment/annoyance/disappointment (if those are the right description).

I've had to shut down the questions about #2, because it's a bit obnoxious. I had a really rough pregnancy with Wolverine, and have absolutely no desire to repeat the experience. Don't feel that I should have to justify that to anyone, so they generally get a good dose of bitchface with a "next time I have unprotected sex with my husband, you'll be the first one i call."

charlotte989875 · October 2016

*Barbie* said:

@charlotte989875 @MissKittyDanger @thefanciestbeckler @AtomicBlonde
(and the others waiting on TTC / having the feels about not having kids yet)

Have you started getting harassed by friends/family on when you're having kids/why don't you have kids yet, etc? I could see that adding to the pressure and resentment/annoyance/disappointment (if those are the right description).

I've had to shut down the questions about #2, because it's a bit obnoxious. I had a really rough pregnancy with Wolverine, and have absolutely no desire to repeat the experience. Don't feel that I should have to justify that to anyone, so they generally get a good dose of bitchface with a "next time I have unprotected sex with my husband, you'll be the first one i call."

Yes! This weekend was terrible. My older sister is pregnant (yay!) and we've been married longer so EVERYONE (except our one aunt who had her last baby at 41) was asking if I was making an announcement too, or when we'd have a cousin to join theirs. WTF get out of my uterus. Also, just be happy for her!

MissKittyDanger · October 2016

*Barbie* said:

@charlotte989875 @MissKittyDanger @thefanciestbeckler @AtomicBlonde
(and the others waiting on TTC / having the feels about not having kids yet)

Have you started getting harassed by friends/family on when you're having kids/why don't you have kids yet, etc? I could see that adding to the pressure and resentment/annoyance/disappointment (if those are the right description).

I've had to shut down the questions about #2, because it's a bit obnoxious. I had a really rough pregnancy with Wolverine, and have absolutely no desire to repeat the experience. Don't feel that I should have to justify that to anyone, so they generally get a good dose of bitchface with a "next time I have unprotected sex with my husband, you'll be the first one i call."

Yup! I'm an only child - only grandchild on mum's side and oldest by 7yrs - and H is oldest child {BIL is not ready for kids and he's still in school}

Immediate family are more pressuring - mainly H's side - and for awhile we could push off MIL when H said "You know how babies are made right?"
We also said that we were 'practicing'

It took us telling them we're holding off until next year before TTC - that's kind of toned things down.

bleve0821 · October 2016

*Barbie* said:

@charlotte989875 @MissKittyDanger @thefanciestbeckler @AtomicBlonde
(and the others waiting on TTC / having the feels about not having kids yet)

Have you started getting harassed by friends/family on when you're having kids/why don't you have kids yet, etc? I could see that adding to the pressure and resentment/annoyance/disappointment (if those are the right description).

I've had to shut down the questions about #2, because it's a bit obnoxious. I had a really rough pregnancy with Wolverine, and have absolutely no desire to repeat the experience. Don't feel that I should have to justify that to anyone, so they generally get a good dose of bitchface with a "next time I have unprotected sex with my husband, you'll be the first one i call."

The "when," absolutely. I don't know if I feel harassed, but we (I) are (am) getting lots of questions on when, especially now that H's (younger) SIL is expecting. For the most part, it's simple curiosity, because both our families are aware that we're in transition and probably not having discussions. But it's still being asked. It was BIL's pointed comment to DH, "Pressure's on, now," that really irked me when they announced. Pressure is on to...do what, exactly? Knock me up? Race to join them in parenthood? Um... no. It's like there is an expectation that really isn't anyone else's business. Whether or not we choose to have kids, and when we choose to have them, is no one's business but our own.

But BIL has always ruffled my feathers wrong.

thefanciestbeckler · October 2016

*Barbie* said:

@charlotte989875 @MissKittyDanger @thefanciestbeckler @AtomicBlonde
(and the others waiting on TTC / having the feels about not having kids yet)

Have you started getting harassed by friends/family on when you're having kids/why don't you have kids yet, etc? I could see that adding to the pressure and resentment/annoyance/disappointment (if those are the right description).

I've had to shut down the questions about #2, because it's a bit obnoxious. I had a really rough pregnancy with Wolverine, and have absolutely no desire to repeat the experience. Don't feel that I should have to justify that to anyone, so they generally get a good dose of bitchface with a "next time I have unprotected sex with my husband, you'll be the first one i call."

I can't get rid of that second tiny box for some reason. Oh well.

Yes I have definitely had the questions! The worst is at parties or holiday events where I'm seeing friends/family I don't see often. Most people in my daily life know that DH isn't even here and won't be back until February, so they don't ask about kids anymore. There's always that one person who asks, though, and it is so much fun to see the look on their face when I say "yeah DH is in X state until February so kids aren't happening right now".

*Barbie* · October 2016

@thefanciestbeckler - "DH is in X state - do you realize how expensive it is to send semen through the mail?!"

6fsn · October 2016

Just last week someone said "you need another one!" I'm 41 and have three. Hell no!

thefanciestbeckler · October 2016

@*Barbie* Bahahaha! I almost just spit water out all over my desk! Definitely borrowing that one for future use lol

MissKittyDanger · October 2016

*Barbie* said:

@thefanciestbeckler - "DH is in X state - do you realize how expensive it is to send semen through the mail?!"

greatest response :')

NOLABridesmaid · October 2016

Mine is, "Well, do you even want kids?"

People.

short+sassy · October 2016

My family and close friends have known forever, long before I got married, that I don't want children. Nobody asks.

If "less close" friends or acquaintances ask, I make a yucky face and say, "I don't like children, I don't want them." That shuts people up quick. Which is my intent. But, in reality, I like children just fine. At least in small doses. I enjoy their unique perspectives of the world.

ILoveBeachMusic · October 2016

DD and SIL are having fertility issues. People often ask me if there is a baby on the way!! I'm getting tired of shrugging it off. Even a friend who knows they are having difficulty keeps asking if there is any news yet. Believe me, if she is pregnant I will be shouting it from the roof tops (once given permission of course).

MissKittyDanger · October 2016

ILoveBeachMusic said:

DD and SIL are having fertility issues. People often ask me if there is a baby on the way!! I'm getting tired of shrugging it off. Even a friend who knows they are having difficulty keeps asking if there is any news yet. Believe me, if she is pregnant I will be shouting it from the roof tops (once given permission of course).

This is what bugs me about people jumping into other people's family questions.
What happens if babies aren't an option? What happens if the woman goes through a few miscarriages?
THINGS THAT CONCERN ME AND BUG ME ABOUT PEOPLE ASKING

Tbh I told my mum my concerns not long ago since she had delivery issues that were not known ahead of time. She said one bonus is that medical technology has come so far, also my dr knows she had issues and can keep track if anything seems strange or needs watching.

SaintPaulGal · October 2016

Gah! I requested time off for the trip I booked pretty much first thing this morning, and it's almost 5 and my boss still hasn't given me an answer. He has been in meetings all day, but I still need an answer. I'm going to have to pester him about it before he leaves, which sucks. I really, really hope he doesn't say no. I would so hate to have to cancel the trip for a job I might be leaving anyway. Also, I hate waiting with the fire of a thousand suns, so there is that working against me as well.

lyndausvi · October 2016

Woohoo, we were just offered club level tickets for the Bronco vs Chargers game. Although neither one of us are fans of either team, we are still going. Ha. It will be nice to get away for the night.

Other than that I've been nurse maid for DH. He isn't the best patient. Kind-of winey.

OurWildKingdom · October 2016

Happy fantastic 50, @pegasuskat!!

GBCK · October 2016

MissKittyDanger said:

ILoveBeachMusic said:

DD and SIL are having fertility issues. People often ask me if there is a baby on the way!! I'm getting tired of shrugging it off. Even a friend who knows they are having difficulty keeps asking if there is any news yet. Believe me, if she is pregnant I will be shouting it from the roof tops (once given permission of course).

This is what bugs me about people jumping into other people's family questions.
What happens if babies aren't an option? What happens if the woman goes through a few miscarriages?
THINGS THAT CONCERN ME AND BUG ME ABOUT PEOPLE ASKING

Tbh I told my mum my concerns not long ago since she had delivery issues that were not known ahead of time. She said one bonus is that medical technology has come so far, also my dr knows she had issues and can keep track if anything seems strange or needs watching.

Bursting into tears and fleeing the room shames people sufficiently to make some of them think better of it. People don't think.

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