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Wedding invite wording...please help.

Bride04272017Bride04272017 member
First Comment 5 Love Its
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
Hi,
I plan on having a backyard ceremony and reception. It will be an 11am ceremony and then a hor d'oeuvres & champagne punch reception along with cake. Please help me with the proper wording, everytime I write my ideas down it just doesn't look right to me. Thank you in advance to all who help. :) 
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Re: Wedding invite wording...please help.

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2017
    Knottie1471380503 said:
    Hi,
    I plan on having a backyard ceremony and reception. It will be an 11am ceremony and then a hor d'oeuvres & champagne punch reception along with cake. Please help me with the proper wording, everytime I write my ideas down it just doesn't look right to me. Thank you in advance to all who help. :) 
    The reason you are having trouble is that your plans just aren't correct.  If you are being married at 11:00 AM, you need to serve more food than hors d'oeuvres.  Do you plan to have enough of them to make a full meal?   Will there be a table to sit and eat for all of your guests?  Will there be chairs enough for everybody?  I strongly suggest you serve a nice brunch or luncheon menu, maybe with mimosas instead of champagne?  What about elderly guests, or guests who might have trouble walking with a plate of food and a glass of beverage?  I would need help.
    Traditional etiquette says that the host should not describe the food to be served on the invitation.  Guests will be assuming that there will be enough food to count for lunch.

    Here is proper wording if you are hosting your own wedding.

    The pleasure of your company is requested
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    Saturday, the nineteenth of August
    two thousand seventeen
    at eleven o'clock
    The Jones Residence
    123 Maple Street
    Anytown, Iowa

    Reception immediately to follow

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  • Bride04272017Bride04272017 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its
    Thank you for your input, we actually chose the hor d'oeuvres due to the lack of table space. We will have enough seats but table space just isn't possible and all venues near us are asking too much for rentals. It would definetly be heavy hor d'oeuvres though such as mini sandwhiches, samosas, deviled eggs, stuffed onions, stuffed mushrooms and many many more it will be placed on long tables for people to help themselves aswell. Its also mainly family attending which at this point im sure theyre probably just happy to see us getting married finally lol. I love your wording as its very simple but I would love for people to know what to expect prior to arriving just so that if they do require more to eat they will know in advance. :)
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Hors d'oeuvres sound awesome! But the only way to serve just that (and be polite about it) is to do the wedding at a non-meal time. Starting at 2 and ending before dinner.I'd say write 5pm on your invitations to be clear and people stick around and mingle til 6, fine, they'll just know not to expect a meal.  

    Backyard weddings can be really beautiful, but they aren't always the cost-saving option people think they are. Everything is a la carte and you still have to have the basics, which mean rentals, delivery fees, manual labor (unless you pay for it), etc. Bathrooms are usually an issue too - 1 bathroom is not enough for a crowd of 60. And of course, weather. If it rains the day before, will the grass be squishy or muddy?

    If you're on a tight budget, I would recommend looking into local parks and rec facilities. You can usually get a covered picnic shelter that comes with picnic tables and bathrooms or an indoor community room that comes with tables, chairs and bathrooms. 
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    CMGragain said:

     There is NO WAY that I would balance a plate of hot food and a glass on my lap at a reception, and I cannot stand for long periods of time.  I would leave as soon as possible!  You are trying to warn your guests that your reception plans are not polite with invitation wording.   You are asking for us to help you do something that is rude to your guests.  Sorry,  Can't do it. :/
    So much this.  That was my first thought: you have food, but no tables?  Where are people supposed to eat?  I can stand for long(ish) period of time, and this still wouldn't work for me.  And if you are inviting kids, it will be worse.  (Although even if you are not, this is still not a good plan.)  There are some great suggestions above for finding tables without breaking your budget.  Is there someplace you can borrow them from?  (A church, school, etc.--not a random one, but on the chance that one of you works there, is active in their community, etc.) 

    And yeah, I'm sorry it doesn't mesh with your original plans, but you can't invite people at a mealtime and not serve a meal.  If a full meal isn't in your budget, then you need to move your reception to a non-meal time of day. 
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  • cowgirl8238cowgirl8238 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer

    I think the PPs gave some great advice.  I just wanted to add that I would NOT be happy having to stand around in a nice dress, heels, bag in hand while trying to balance food and drinks!  One of the most essential things to hosting a proper reception is tables and chairs for every butt!!!!!!

    I think you should move your ceremony to 2pm to keep your menu the same, and find a venue that includes enough tables and chairs for every person in attendance.

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  • knottiejknottiej member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    CMGragain said:

    4.  Just because your guests are family is no excuse to treat them rudely.  They won't tell you the truth about your reception because they care about you.  That doesn't mean that they will be happy about your skimpy arrangements.  Here, on The Knot, we will tell you THE TRUTH!


    I don't understand how "our family is happy to see us finally getting married" means you are able to forgo essential items to their comfort. They are happy to see us married so we'll just let them starve in 110 heat! It'll be okay!! :)
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  • LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2017
    KnottieJanel said:
    CMGragain said:

    4.  Just because your guests are family is no excuse to treat them rudely.  They won't tell you the truth about your reception because they care about you.  That doesn't mean that they will be happy about your skimpy arrangements.  Here, on The Knot, we will tell you THE TRUTH!


    I don't understand how "our family is happy to see us finally getting married" means you are able to forgo essential items to their comfort. They are happy to see us married so we'll just let them starve in 110 heat! It'll be okay!! :)
    Ditto! I have never been so excited for another person that I will not register them preventably ignoring my comfort. 

    Meal time=table and chairs for everyone. Even if it is just canapes, if you are making a canape a meal, you need to treat it like a meal and give people tables and chairs. 

    Casual snacks during a non-meal time for an hour or 2, I'll be OK with just a chair. 
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