I have a wonderful and darling friend who happens to fall on the side of (what I consider to be) fussy and overly indulgent helicopter parenting, where I tend to the free-range-with-a-vengeance and zero-censorship side. I come from a large, involved family (I have more than 50 first cousins, and I’ve babysat most of them!) and I’ve also fostered kids at different times in my life, whereas she comes from a very small family—just one sibling and both her parents are deceased. I will admit to having a little bit of arrogance where kids are concerned—if a kid does it, I’ve probably dealt with it. Which by no means makes me perfect or infallible! It seems to me she’s her own worst enemy where her son is concerned. He’s 4, and she complains that he’s a terrible sleeper—but she’s spent the last four years indulging a bedtime routine that makes circus acts look quiet. Projector-style mobiles, starlight walks, rocking, swaddling, car rides, time-outs, and existential discussions about the biological functions of sleep, often until midnight or later. Bedtime and sleep hygiene are the worst area, but this parenting style stretches across every aspect of her life. She’s been my best friend for 15 years, but I’m finding it increasingly difficult not to be judgmental and tell her off every time she complains that Baby kept her up again last night. My own kids are grown or nearly so (17 and 20), and all I can see is years of behavioral problems that she’s manufacturing with her own behavior. Remind me how to separate myself from her issues without losing a friend I really do love dearly?
