Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Woes
Wedding Woes
New Discussion

Pre-Marital Counseling...Stat

short+sassyshort+sassy member
First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
in Wedding Woes
I’m engaged to be married. My fiancé and I have been together for five years, and we’ve been planning our wedding now for six months—it’ll be in June so we have a couple of months to go. In the past few weeks I’ve been starting to feel really nervous about the whole thing. Last night, I was making wedding centerpieces with a friend of mine and I confessed that I wasn’t sure I wanted to get married. My friend said it was cold feet and that everybody feels that way. I’m not sure. It isn’t that I don’t love my fiancé. I just don’t know if I want to get married to him, or to anyone for that matter. My parents and his are both divorced. (His father has been married/divorced five times!) Most of my friends are either divorced or having trouble. I just don’t know if spending all this money on a wedding is worth it, if it is only going to end in a few years anyway. How can you tell if feeling the jitters before a wedding is cold feet, or something else?
Wedding Countdown Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: Pre-Marital Counseling...Stat

  • bleve0821bleve0821 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    So, I had these exact same thoughts (while I was also making the centerpieces for our wedding, funnily enough; must be in the glitter) in the last months leading up to our wedding.  I love(d) DH, and I couldn't picture a life without him--which is what ultimately made me decide I was making the right decision--but I kept having these "what if" questions.  What if he's NOT the right person for me?  What if getting married--at all--is a mistake?  Why can't we just continue to live the happy way we do now and skip making this kind of commitment?

    For me, it was just jitters, and I got over it in my own way.  The one thought that never crossed my mind was "what if this ends in divorce?"   So, while I do think some of this is nerves, I also think pre-marital counseling is a must here, because that is NOT a healthy thought to have walking down the aisle. 


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

    Report Reply
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I wonder if the LW has also pictured "what is life like without him".  Because if her first reaction is a, "NOOOOOOO, I can't imagine that!!!!"  It's probably jitters.  Not that I'm trying to downplay jitters.  It sounds like she some legit issues where I think counseling would be helpful.  But it could at least be a good sign of where her heart really is.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    It's funny...I actually worry because I didn't have jitters!
    Report Reply
  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    DrillSergeantCat said:

    It's funny...I actually worry because I didn't have jitters!


    Me neither! I was more anxious about everything going smoothly and excitement lol
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards