Dear Prudence,
My husband and I are expecting our first baby and are happy to share the news with family and friends, but not the world at large. My husband has an unbalanced ex-wife who stalked both of us while we were dating until we got a restraining order—which she violated when she showed up at our wedding uninvited in a white dress. She found out where the ceremony was by sending friend requests to our older, less tech-savvy relatives and getting the details from them. We have since moved states and jobs, and haven’t heard from her in two years, but I am still terrified. She was childless and delusional, and I still have nightmares about waking up to an empty crib or being attacked.
My problem is my mother, who posts everything on Facebook, including my pregnancy announcement. She deleted it after I freaked out, but she’s unhappy with my general policy of not wanting to post anything online about my as-yet-unborn child. I plan to mail physical photos of my baby to our family and close friends when the time comes, but my mother brings up all of her friends who posts photos online of their grandchildren all the time. She says I am worried over nothing and it’s draining to argue with her. My husband is ready to ban her from visiting altogether, but I want my mom with me when my baby is born. How can I get this across to her?