I'm a 48-year-old gay bear who recently started dating a 29-year-old guy. We met through friends about a year ago, began having regular cuddle sessions, and finally started a relationship. He is funny, smart, sexy, and caring. He's emotionally mature and financially secure, and he's as crazy about me as I am about him. We're falling in love, and it's wonderful.
The confusing part is that he doesn’t normally go for bears and his sexual and relationship experiences have been very narrow. Our sexual encounters start and end well, but he isn’t interested in expanding the menu on foreplay. He's physically attentive in everyday situations, a champion cuddler, and a decent kisser. We both enjoy giving and receiving when it comes to the act itself, but he’s not willing to do much in between. He doesn't enjoy giving oral (but loves receiving it), and doesn't look at or touch the more intimate parts of my body very much. I'm constantly wondering whether his lack of engagement in foreplay is because I'm not his type, his lack of experience with guys like me, or both. I've asked about it, and he says I'm beautiful, he just doesn't enjoy doing those things. I love this guy, but I need to feel physically attractive, and I want our sex life to be mutually fulfilling. I can't imagine going without receiving oral sex and other great foreplay indefinitely. How do I engage him on the topic (again) without sounding neurotic or sleazy?