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Wedding Woes

Why do people treat Prudie like an oracle?

Dear Prudence,
I just ended my relationship with my partner of 10 years over the subject of having children. I want them; he doesn’t. He had told me he did, but now he tells me he only said that because he desperately wanted to make me happy. The breakup was devastating. We held each other and sobbed for hours, and both of us are unsure of how to move on with our lives. I’m fairly sure he will come back to me in a few weeks and tell me he’s reconsidering. If that happens, I shouldn’t believe him, right? People don’t change their minds about this, do they?
—Listening When Someone Tells You No

Re: Why do people treat Prudie like an oracle?

  • You don't change your outlook on life. 

    I would be pissed too.  But you can't take someone back when you know that your long term life goals are polar opposites.   This isn't about who likes to travel and who wants to stay home.  You have agreed that you can't make it work.   Cut your losses and move on.   And be angry.  
  • One of my friends was in this situation. She was with someone for over a decade, followed him to the US from her home country, and he kept telling her they'd have kids "soon." She waited years until they got their green cards and she could finally get a job here and be in a place to leave him. She's finally on her own and doing great, but she's also 38 and now knows her time to have kids is dwindling. It was heartbreaking to watch her go through all of that.
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