Dear Prudence,
My biological father was emotionally and verbally abusive to my sister and me when we were young, and my mother divorced him. Therapy helped us repair the relationship somewhat, but it’s become increasingly clear that my dad is a white supremacist. He makes comments to strangers like “This is America. You speak English here. If you’re coming here, at least have the decency to learn our language or go back to Mexico.” What kind of a father says these things in front of his Mexican-American daughters? (My mom’s family came from Mexico.) I’ve also heard him say “Black lives don’t matter” and “Homosexuality is wrong.”
I stopped talking to him last year. My sister still talks to him—they seem to have an agreement not to talk politics. My mom and sister understand why I refuse to speak with him. The last time we texted, I told him that I had recently been asked if I was “legal.” His response was simply, “Rights change.” That is the message I have had burned in my mind since June: “Rights change.” I’ve washed my hands of him, but he still wants to talk to me, I hear. Should I?
—Can’t Talk Now, Dad