Dear Prudence,
I broke up with my ex-girlfriend in February because she took financial advantage of me and treated me in a manner I found fetishistic and cruel because I’m autistic. Since the breakup she’s messaged me repeatedly about cheating on her current partner and disrespecting his gender identity, as well as making Rain Man jokes about me.
I had crashed her car in January. Luckily no one was hurt and I paid all bills in full, arranged for the car to be towed and repaired, coordinated with the DMV, and consulted a lawyer. But her car wasn’t insured at the time, and she’s been given a misdemeanor for allowing her car to be driven without insurance. I think she may be in further trouble for failing to appear in court.
A few days ago she started bombarding me with texts, calls, and Facebook messages demanding help with her legal troubles. I don’t want to, in part because she’s been committing insurance fraud and that’s almost certainly going to come up during her trial. However, she’s suggested that she’s going to try to blame me to get out of trouble. I don’t think she has anything on me, but if she wanted to pull me into court by, for instance, accusing me of stealing her car, I would still have to show up. Cross-country plane tickets are expensive, and I don’t want to waste vacation days to show up to court for her nonsense. So far my plan has been to be polite but detached. Am I on the right path? Is there anything I can do besides sit back and wait? Do I have a moral and ethical obligation to at least inform her about what I know, even though I find her behavior repugnant?
—Misdemeaning Ex