Wedding Woes

Tuesday (brain dump)

Everyone sleeping in?

My kids were supposed to go to FIL's tomorrow-Friday.  DH's stepbrother's wife and kids were supposed to visit Mon-Wed this week.  They showed up a day late and are staying until Thursday so FIL cancelled.  There are so many, many things in everyone's brains.

FIL- He cancelled a lot on DH when DH was a kid.  He's trying desperately to be a really good grandpa and succeeds 90% of the time.  After their last visit FIL commented that he didn't want to do to the grandkids what he did to DH and DH's brother.

DH- I know it hurt him a lot when FIL cancelled.  After his dad's comment he told me he can forgive his dad for him, because of what he's doing for the kids.  I know DH's head gets this, but it hurts his heart.

The kids- they are disappointed.  I'm trying to fill in fun stuff as best I can so they aren't too disappointed.  M2 and Max are happy they get to feed giraffes and go to swim lessons.  6let is hurt.  Swim lessons and giraffes won't fix it.

Stepbrother- he's a selfish asshole.  always has been.  He's not with them. I just can't stand him.  He won't visit his mother until she looses weight. The last visit was so horrible FIL changed the will.

Stepbrother's wife- she's super sweet, but dumb as a box of rocks and has little concept of life around her.  Her kids have no discipline (I say her's because Stepbrother has worked out of town 5-6 days a week their entire lives). It would never cross her mind that arriving a day late and staying a day longer could impact anyone else.  Her youngest (7) threw a bottle of paint at her other kid.  It landed all over the craft room at FIL's brand new home. I do give her credit for bringing the kids on her own.

sMIL- she just desperately wants to know the two grandkids and spend any time with them.  They live in Colorado and for whatever reason sMIL ends up in the hospital when she tries to visit there. Since Stepbrother is an asshole he won't bring them home often.

Me- The most petty of all.  I was supposed to have time to run, get a bikini wax, clean, and do final prep for vacation.

Re: Tuesday (brain dump)

  • sorry, @6fsn :( So they showed up a day late without telling anyone? That's so wrong! Can your kids do Thurs - Sat instead of canceling altogether?

    SSDD for me.  I can't wait for a quiet weekend coming up since last two were OOT. But I have to keep telling myself, it's only Tuesday.  It's only Tuesday.... I picked up a walmart grocery last night and for the most part, they got all of it but I still have to go back and get some stuff. ugh.  And does anyone know why milk has jumped in price?  Nothing else  like cheese, dairy and eggs have....?

  • 6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    @CharmedPam - yep. We leave for vacation Saturday am so can’t do it then. There are a few days in August but school starts the 15th. 
  • Ugh 6, what a cluster.

    Also, I feel you on crappy houseguests.  Mine left last night after 8 (OMG!) days.   I'm still not happy with DH at all about how the last week went down.  And I swear if he brings up how he was 'over it too' one more time, I am going HAM on his ass because we were not in that shit together.  I wanted NOTHING to do with his friend staying with us for that long and actively tried to get DH to tell him to go earlier.  But...he's gone and I am trying to focus on that at the moment and not worry about if there will be a 'next time'.  

    Anyway, so that's ^^ pretty much my only notes for today.  I slept like shit last night because I haven't been on a normal sleep schedule for a month or so now.  

    School starts in 2.5 weeks.  WTF? 
  • @6fsn, I wish I could sleep in more often, lol.  Just been working away at the job for the last 3 hours.  Meh.

    Yikes, there are quite a few pieces of "sad" going on, in that tale.  I'm sorry you and your family are disappointed with the ILs cancelling the kids' visit.  Would having your all's kids and the other grandkids there at the same time be too much for them?  Even with SIL there and only one day?

    Apparently giraffes sometimes attack and have even killed people.  Who knew?  They seem so docile.  Like cows, with tall legs and necks.  And usually are fairly docile, but will kick and stomp on people if they feel threatened.  I was watching an episode of "I Was Prey" and there was a story about a man and his wife who were attacked by a giraffe, during a photo safari in Africa.  Sadly, like most animals, giraffes have substantially more to fear from people than vice versa.

    Yesterday was really overwhelming at work.  Today is still really busy, but should be much better.  My H and I went out to dinner with a friend last night.  To a place famous for its paella.  We both went a little crazy and each ordered a bigger size, meant for two people.  With the plan to have leftovers.  It's a lot of leftovers!  So that's nice.  But I didn't do the "math" and the bill came out to over $100, with tip!  No alcohol ordered at all.  Just a couple soups, in addition to the paella.  Ouch!!!  Oh well.  At least we'll be eating good for a few days, lol. 

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  • kvrunskvruns member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    6 that sucks - I'm so glad to not have family members who think the world revolves around them and everyone always accommodates them despite the impact it can have on others. I have a friend with family like that and it is draining. 

    I keep spending $$ on Amazon, not even Prime day deals really but just buying stuff bc I have Prime again. Some people have gotten some crazy baby deals bc some accounts let you stack coupons to get stuff for free. Mine isn't eligible for the extra stuff which stinks. 
  • I hate Tuesdays, so much.

    I'm sliding into some old habits.  I just recognized it last night and I need to get it stopped.  It was shocking how easy it is to fall back into old crappy patterns.  I think I've kind of identified where it's coming from, some things about myself, and I've kind of formulated a plan to deal with it.

    My cooking mojo is totally dead.  I'm not sure how/why and I can't seem to get it back.  I'm thinking about subscribing to the NYT Cooking section and getting some inspiration.  It just feels like a chore now.  If I could just drink Ensure every day/meal and not GAF, I'd be okay.
  • Aww, 6, I'm sorry. I hate when you can't "fix" disappointment. And to me, disappointment is one of the hardest feelings. :( 

    I just ordered NIN tickets for H's birthday (tomorrow). I felt bad for prioritizing other things above his birthday/anniversary. 

    And TMI but Aunt Flo arrived just in time to ruin any birthday/anniversary fun but at least we won't be parents! 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • I’m sorry, 6. All of that really sucks. 

    Well, I’m sick. Boo. Apparently doing a full day of clinic after a sleep deprived, booze filled weekend did me in. I’m dreading the rest of the week. It’s so long and busy. Ugh. I took NyQuil so I’m still all drowsy from that too. Today I have to take FI to the dentist and finish homework/study. 


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  • mrsconn23 said:
    Ugh 6, what a cluster.

    Also, I feel you on crappy houseguests.  Mine left last night after 8 (OMG!) days.   I'm still not happy with DH at all about how the last week went down.  And I swear if he brings up how he was 'over it too' one more time, I am going HAM on his ass because we were not in that shit together.  I wanted NOTHING to do with his friend staying with us for that long and actively tried to get DH to tell him to go earlier.  But...he's gone and I am trying to focus on that at the moment and not worry about if there will be a 'next time'.  

    Anyway, so that's ^^ pretty much my only notes for today.  I slept like shit last night because I haven't been on a normal sleep schedule for a month or so now.  

    School starts in 2.5 weeks.  WTF? 


    That is crazy, smh!!!  Especially to have not been planned ahead of time.  At least for you.  Though it sounds like your DH didn't realize it would be that long either.

    On a similar, but not nearly as intrusive note, I'm irritated with a friend's truck that's been parked in front of our house for weeks.  The whole thing is a sad and unfortunate story, which is why I have tried to be patient.  However, my patience is now gone.  In a nutshell, he is a very good friend.  Who has done a lot to help us out, including rides (and vice versa).  But he spent a lot of money to fix his old, broken down truck that he needs for his business (plumber).  The truck was a little better for about a month, but then started having major problems again.  It does run, but barely.

    For some reason I do NOT understand and that my H has not adequately explained to me, this friend decided that he better not drive the truck anymore while he happened to be visiting my H.  And the truck has been parked in front of our house ever since.  We don't have a driveway or garage for our house.  We use street parking.  And now that we just bought our own truck, his is especially in the way.  He only lives a few miles away from us!  WTF?!?!  Dude!  Limp your truck home and park it in front of your OWN house.  I'd even be fine with him driving it one block further where there is plenty of street parking that no one ever uses.

    Anyway.  My H finally talked to him about it a few days ago, but I noticed the truck is still there, smh.

    <<Vent over>>

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  • 6 - I'm sorry that FIL has disappointed the kids and DH.  That is tough.

    S+S - Why leave the truck there?  That is so odd.

    I've gotten a few things from Prime Day, but I don't really need anything.  And Prime Day is really only a good deal if you buy their products.  I thought about a Ring security camera, but H said not right now.

    Our weekend was good!  It was really nice down the shore until Monday.  It was just humid with no breeze.  My parents don't use the A/C in the living room unless it's really hot.  Thankfully we have the bedroom units, so sleeping is fine, we usually just keep the door closed when the unit runs.  We enjoyed all of the BBQ there was to offer and there were many new vendors!  So lots of good eating!

    Not sure what is up this week.  We had to take some money from savings to pay our cc bill (oops!), so we won't be doing much until payday comes again.  Which is still 2 full weeks away!  And we have a fun food truck here today and I can't partake.  I hate adulting sometimes!

  • mrsconn23 said:
    Ugh 6, what a cluster.

    Also, I feel you on crappy houseguests.  Mine left last night after 8 (OMG!) days.   I'm still not happy with DH at all about how the last week went down.  And I swear if he brings up how he was 'over it too' one more time, I am going HAM on his ass because we were not in that shit together.  I wanted NOTHING to do with his friend staying with us for that long and actively tried to get DH to tell him to go earlier.  But...he's gone and I am trying to focus on that at the moment and not worry about if there will be a 'next time'.  

    Anyway, so that's ^^ pretty much my only notes for today.  I slept like shit last night because I haven't been on a normal sleep schedule for a month or so now.  

    School starts in 2.5 weeks.  WTF? 


    That is crazy, smh!!!  Especially to have not been planned ahead of time.  At least for you.  Though it sounds like your DH didn't realize it would be that long either.

    It IS crazy and no, DH didn't realize he was staying that long.  He'd probably still be here if DH hadn't told him that he could not stay into this week (beyond yesterday). 

    But I knew this was going to happen, because that's how this guy has operated in the past (7-8 years ago).  OF COURSE, DH tried to sell me on this whole, "He's changed because he has little kids and a routine and blah, blah, blah."  HA.  Lies, all of it.  

    The thing about him is that he's not trying to be rude or in the way or whatever.  He's just an odd duck with a lot of obnoxious idiosyncrasies that make him an awful house guest (I'm not the only person in DH's life that cannot stand this guy for more than a limited period of time).   I do think he knows what he's doing (in trying to stay as long as possible), but he's not like "Fuck you guys!" when we're like, "Yeah, out now."  He's more an, "OK...I'll go." And then slinks out as slowly as possible.  *sigh* 
  • @Mrsconn23, I don't know how you could do it! I looooove house guests but for like 3 days max!

    @VarunaTT, I love love homechef! I hate cooking but love that service. 

    @shessocold, that's going to be a good concert.  I like some of their songs. Odd, I got TOM 1.5 weeks early today too.  I hate that.  And now I'm thinking IUD but I can't remember not taking my pill clockwork this month....

    @short+sassy, MOVE the damn truck already!  (hope that worked?)

    @oliveoilsmom, I had to do the SAME thing today.  Move savings around to pay some bills.  PNC has two levels of savings.  Short term and Long term.  To be fair, I had to pay off some cc's from last weekend's travel and then I bought some hotels .com gift cards at a discount rate for some upcoming travel - and my short term savings IS a savings for travel expenses, so I used it for the intended purpose.  Just sucks to see my balance going lower and lower and lower.

  • mrsconn23 said:
    It IS crazy and no, DH didn't realize he was staying that long.  He'd probably still be here if DH hadn't told him that he could not stay into this week (beyond yesterday). 

    But I knew this was going to happen, because that's how this guy has operated in the past (7-8 years ago).  OF COURSE, DH tried to sell me on this whole, "He's changed because he has little kids and a routine and blah, blah, blah."  HA.  Lies, all of it.  

    The thing about him is that he's not trying to be rude or in the way or whatever.  He's just an odd duck with a lot of obnoxious idiosyncrasies that make him an awful house guest (I'm not the only person in DH's life that cannot stand this guy for more than a limited period of time).   I do think he knows what he's doing (in trying to stay as long as possible), but he's not like "Fuck you guys!" when we're like, "Yeah, out now."  He's more an, "OK...I'll go." And then slinks out as slowly as possible.  *sigh* 

    I'm sure I'll just be repeating things you've already told your DH, lol.  But, first, there needs to be a household rule of no overnight guests until it has been discussed.

    And, for this guy, he needs to be given strict date parameters before future visits.  Like, "We'd love to have you come visit us in early May.  But we can only accommodate you from May 3-May 6."

    I find it "off" that he isn't mortified he even needs to be told when it is time to mosey on.  I would feel so bad if I'd misread social cues and overstayed my welcome.

    The brain synapse I had for this sentence was my dog, lol.  My H usually goes to bed first.  She will follow him and curl up on my side, right under my pillow.  When I come to bed, I give her a few pets and then pat the end of the bed and softly call her name.  She'll give me a sleepy look for about 20-30 seconds and then she'll slowly stand up and start walking down the bed.  About halfway down, without fail, she stops to stretch, lol.  Really, Izzy, really?  You couldn't wait 5 more seconds until you were at your final "end of the bed" destination before you stretched, lol.   

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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited July 2018

    @charlotte989875, that is awesome!  What a neat experience.

    I only ever get to hear construction noises and cruise ship horns at lunch, lol.

    Good luck on (hopefully) closing next Friday!

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  • @short+sassy,  he was supposed to be here earlier this summer.  So I knew that he was coming at some point, I just thought it was going to be a month ago. 

    But he's the type of person that is such a mess that you need to tell him to be somewhere 3 hours before you show up.  He has some health problems (oh that is a whole other thing/diatribe), and seemed to exhibit some obsessive traits (lots of hand-washing and my hall bathroom smelled like bleach every day from him cleaning out his CPAP and I'm sure other things, odd laundry habits, etc).  So he seems to have to go through a whole 'routine' before doing anything/going anywhere.  Add into that that he didn't want to leave to drive home to CA, and you get ::waves hand:: all that fuckery.   

    I've already told DH that he's never coming again without hard dates and that DH will be burning some vacation days to entertain him.  (I was joking all week with my friends/sister that I was "R"-sitting, along with working and managing my kids. :D
  • @Mrsconn23, I don't know how you could do it! I looooove house guests but for like 3 days max!

    All the wine.  Also just retreating to my room to watch Netflix, and drink, in peace.  And a boatload of venting to my BFF.  
  • Oh, geez.  Is this going to become a "thing" now, lol?  I just saw a post on my local NextDoor.  An open invitation to PM her for her address for a "Beauty Bar" party.  Make-up tips and tricks and a chance to sample some of the best make-up out there.  Blah, blah.

    She doesn't specify any company and might actually be trying to trick people that this isn't some hard sell, Mary Kay-esque home sales type of party, lol.  Ugh.  No (running in the other direction).

    Unless Beauty Bar is the name of the company?  I can't keep track of them all, lol.

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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited July 2018

    Oh, geez.  Is this going to become a "thing" now, lol?  I just saw a post on my local NextDoor.  An open invitation to PM her for her address for a "Beauty Bar" party.  Make-up tips and tricks and a chance to sample some of the best make-up out there.  Blah, blah.

    She doesn't specify any company and might actually be trying to trick people that this isn't some hard sell, Mary Kay-esque home sales type of party, lol.  Ugh.  No (running in the other direction).

    Unless Beauty Bar is the name of the company?  I can't keep track of them all, lol.

    No way are my creepy neighbors coming into my house!!!! I mean, I guess they're creepy.  I never met them.   I searched "beauty bar MLM" on google and came up with Beauty Counter? My friend actually sells that but she doesn't push it, basically signed up for the discount she gets for herself. 

    edit: I got sucked into selling Mary Kay once.  I actually do like the majority of their products but since I dropped the consultant status, the price I could pay for MK I could get at the high end counters.

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