Dear Prudence,
Four years ago, I got pregnant while taking birth control pills. I didn’t want to have an abortion, but my boyfriend wanted me to, so I did. We started using condoms, and I kept taking the pill. It seemed reasonable at the time, as we were both scared. I definitely don’t want to get pregnant right now, but in the past year or so, condoms have started to bother me. I just miss having unbarriered sex—it feels better, it’s more convenient, and it’s more intimate. In four years, I’ve only forgotten to take the pill twice, and I have not had any abnormal bleeding. I feel 99.7 percent confident, and I feel the 0.3 percent risk is worth taking for people in long-term relationships. My boyfriend wants to keep using both and doesn’t understand why I would allow any chance at all. Of course I’ll respect his wishes, and his perspective seems logical. I just can’t shake the feeling that it takes away from our intimacy and commitment. I’m being irrational, right?
—Condom Commitment