Dear Prudence,
When I was 16, my father died suddenly. My mother coped as best she could, raising me and my two brothers on her own, and when I was away at college, she got rid of nearly all my father’s things. She gave my father’s sister the wedding ring that had once belonged to his mother and that he had bequeathed to me. My mom felt the ring would mean more to my aunt since my grandmother had died before I was born. I found this out later and didn’t object at the time, but as I’ve grown older I regret having almost nothing of my father’s apart from a few photos.
My aunt has since died and (I assume) the ring was passed down to her daughter. I know it’s churlish, but I’d really like to ask my cousin for the ring since my dad had meant for me to have it. I have no idea of its monetary value but don’t think it’s very much—my grandparents weren’t wealthy. My cousin and I are not close (she is almost a generation older than I am) so if I made this request, I know it would be a surprise to her, and possibly an unwelcome one. On the other hand, she also never had the chance to meet our grandmother and I am sure has other mementos of her mother. Do I need to let this go or would it be OK to ask?
—No Exchanges, No Returns