I recently did some research on an ancestry website about my recently deceased grandmother’s family. While doing so, I found my grandmother’s first husband—my father’s biological father. He abandoned my grandmother with two children in England in the 1950s, went AWOL from the Air Force, and was never heard from again. My father has made it plain over the years that he has no curiosity about this man. My grandmother remarried, and I love and admire my grandfather, who is still living. But I’m curious, and based on genealogical information, publicly available information, and family resemblance, I’m certain I’ve found my biological grandfather—as well as several other relatives that would mean siblings for my father, and uncles, aunts, and cousins for me.
I expected my father’s father would be dead. I never thought I’d find a living man. Do I share this information with my father? Or do I keep silent? Do I reach out to this stranger? Or do I leave it well enough alone and say it was never meant to be?