Dear Prudence,
Last year, my sister-in-law lost her husband to suicide, leaving her and her two sons in serious debt. They live in an expensive community, and my sister-in-law only has a part-time job. My husband and I have stepped in and spent over $20,000 to help them, from paying for the funeral to paying the mortgage so they don’t lose the house. We have had to dip into our savings. We can’t keep this up, but my sister-in-law will not see reason. Her mother has offered up her home and even arranged a job. Selling the house and moving would put my sister-in-law in a stable financial position. My sister-in-law refuses to face reality. She will not discuss the situation and tells us it is “none of our concern,” then demands we pay her bills. I understand the desire to keep her home and the boys in their schools, but that is not possible. She can’t afford this lifestyle anymore, and she will lose the house without us. My own family is facing a medical crisis over my father’s dementia. My husband and I are losing money, losing sleep, and losing our patience. What should we do?
—Something Has to Give