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cls8892 · June 2010

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tidetravel · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_small-intimate-wedding-after-partyreception-next-year?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:066f70da-c3f1-4e5b-9d9b-50b06d473652Post:9151bc68-e7cb-4eea-87af-317eecab5d16">small intimate wedding with after party....reception next year.</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi all, I need help! My fiance and I are planning on having a very intimate small ceremony with just our immediate family this sept. and then having an "after party" to celebrate our union (with probably around 100 people), very informal. BUT! Next year (sept) we are going to have a big reception and renew our vows...(more of a formal reception) We do not want gifts this year, we just want our loved ones to celebrate with us and then next year we will have our reception where people have the option to gift give...... How would I write this on the inviations? any ideas/opinions are GREATLY appreciated!!!
Posted by cls8892[/QUOTE]

Do one or the other. Small intimate ceremony with after party, OR intimate ceremony with larger reception later. Don't do both.

vsgal · June 2010

You get one reception. You don't get to have one this year and another one next year. It is tacky. I wouldn't attend both. I would see the second reception as gift-grabby and I would not be the only one.

Besides 100 people is not small or intimate. 10 people out to dinner is small and intimate. 100 people is your reception.

Why don't you do everything at one time?

Krysti21 · June 2010

Ditto PPs. Also, you never mention gifts on an invitation.

loop0406 · June 2010

Don't mention gifts on invitation and honestly, 2 receptions doesn't make sense. Just make the after party of 100 people the reception, 100 is a reception by the way, not small party....small party is 15-20 in my opinion.

GreenPepperBurger · June 2010

If you're springing for an after party (I assume you guys are paying for it...If you're making the guests pay for the after-party, then we have a whole other problem here), then why not just have a reception? Having two receptions is just not proper etiquette.

redheadfsu · June 2010

100 is not small. I'm assuming you are paying for the after party (hope so, if you didn't that would be kind of rude- unless it is spontaneous, which it isn't). So the after party is your reception. I would ditto pps only have one. Do not mention gifts period that is rude.

trix1223 · June 2010

I don't understand. Why in heaven's name do you need a do-over in a year?

I assume that YOU are making the decision to have the wedding you're having~no one is forcing you. In that case, you live with the consequences of your decision.

What you're coyly calling an "afterparty" IS your reception. I have to tell you that if I attended the "after party" with 100 other guests, and then got an invitation to a reception a year later, I'd judge. Yes, I'd judge harshly.

And "vow renewals" after one year are silly. Save that for a big milestone: 25 years, or thereafter.

megk8oz · June 2010

I had 100 people at my only reception. It never occured to me that 100 people wasn't a "big" reception.

JadziaDax · June 2010

I'm not even having 100, i'm having 75. My reception is smaller than someone's afterparty.. hmm..

BeeBee22 · June 2010

You're planning a second party so you can receive gifts at a more convenient time? Yikes.

Ceremony + party afterward = wedding with reception.

Additional party next year = AW / gift grab.

Knottie1435582995 · June 2010

I'm confused. Her bio says Sept 2011. If she was planning to get married NEXT year anyway, why are we now talking about getting married THIS Sept, and having some crazy vow renewal / party thing NEXT year?

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