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Tell him in no uncertain terms that medical info is private

short+sassyshort+sassy member
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in Wedding Woes
I’ve been dating a guy for about a month and a half now (we’re both gay). Recently I met his friends for the first time, and he volunteered that we met at a “group medical meeting,” where all members had the same illness. Instantly the air went out of the room, and I could feel the others felt sorry for not only him, but for me. I am not comfortable sharing this medical information, and I haven’t even shared it with my own family. How do I tell him that this will make me uncomfortable? I do not want to offend him, and I don’t want to hide behind my illness either.
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Re: Tell him in no uncertain terms that medical info is private

  • banana468banana468 member
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    STARMOON44 said:
    “I’m not comfortable with you telling people we met at group meeting, because I prefer to keep my medical info private. Let’s come up with some other answer to that question,”
    Yup.  This.  
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
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    STARMOON44 said:
    “I’m not comfortable with you telling people we met at group meeting, because I prefer to keep my medical info private. Let’s come up with some other answer to that question,”
    A simple “a meet up group” should do it.  Most people wont question WHAT meet up.  You’re not lying but your just not being specific. 

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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
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    CharmedPam said:
    STARMOON44 said:
    “I’m not comfortable with you telling people we met at group meeting, because I prefer to keep my medical info private. Let’s come up with some other answer to that question,”
    A simple “a meet up group” should do it.  Most people wont question WHAT meet up.  You’re not lying but your just not being specific. 
    Exactly!! How often do we get "we met at X and it's embarrassing to tell people" questions?!?! Just be vague! 

    When my boss asks me how I met my husband, I don't feel obligated to tell him that he was my first boyfriend's best friend and started banging him while still dating some other guy, I simply tell him we met through friends. Really not all that hard.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    It's another USE YOUR WORDS letter.  He's worried about offending his new b/f, but there is nothing offensive with saying, "Can we explain how we met in more general terms like XYZ?  I'm uncomfortable with people I just met knowing some of my medical history and I need you to keep that information private, until I want to disclose it."

    I've actually had to have this convo with my H a few times, though not recently.  I'm not secretive about the fact that I have Type I Diabetes, but it's still my info to disclose when I feel it is appropriate.  He has sometimes blurted it out without thinking.

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  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
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    Recovering alcoholic and addict here. Met DW at an AA meeting. When people ask how we met, we say, “Through mutual friends.”
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
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    edited January 2019
    OurWildKingdom said:
    Recovering alcoholic and addict here. Met DW at an AA meeting. When people ask how we met, we say, “Through mutual friends.”
    Welcome back OWK!! Noticed the DW - Congrats on the nuptials if I missed the post!

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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    OurWildKingdom said:
    Recovering alcoholic and addict here. Met DW at an AA meeting. When people ask how we met, we say, “Through mutual friends.”

    OMG, good to "see" you again!  How have things been?
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
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    Ditto, PPs!! Glad to see you OWK!! :)
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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  • mrsmittenmrsmitten member
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    DW - yay congrats OWK!
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