Dear Prudence,
My mom, who’s been mostly happily married to my dad for 30 years, admitted to me that she has a crush on a relatively new friend. Last year she started mentioning him a lot when telling me about the social circle they met in. It felt weird when I noticed her mentioning him so often, and she finally confessed that this is her biggest (only?) crush since she fell for my dad. I love her and absolutely believe that she wouldn’t cheat. I also feel that she’s as entitled to her feelings as anyone else—but I don’t want to hear about this. It’s only a giddy, teenage-type vibe, but it makes me uncomfortable. I told her that, as her daughter, I’m not an appropriate person for her to discuss this with. She now sort of tries holding back but generally doesn’t have strong resolve. Now that I’ve met the crush (honestly quite a nice guy), she seems to think that it’s OK to talk about him again. She’s had issues understanding appropriate boundaries in the past, so this isn’t surprising. I’ve been about as firm as I can be without threatening to end our phone calls. But am I overreacting? She’s very sensitive and would take it badly. It’s a harmless crush, and she doesn’t have close friends outside of that community whom she can discuss this with. I think I also feel guilty because I have and in the future might want to turn to her for relationship advice. I haven’t had a relationship since I was a teenager, so I don’t know—would a 28-year-old typically talk to her friends instead of her mom? (I don’t have many close friends myself.) Is it fair to tell her about a crush if I don’t allow her to do the same?
—Crushed