Wedding Woes

Kid birthday in a hotel

We’ll be at a hotel for m2’s birthday this year. I’ve tried to play it up that she’s the first kid doing this, we’ll get to go swimming and order pizza and we’d eat birthday cake in bed. 

I said we’d go to the children’s museum A NEW 
ONE that only dad has been too. Then she’d still get to have a fun day that she gets to pick. 

She’s having none of it. She doesn’t want to go. She doesn’t want to be there. She wants to be home with the cats and her bed. 

I’m drawing a blank on something special we ccould do in a hotel on her birthday. Anyone?!???

Re: Kid birthday in a hotel

  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    How old is she? 
  • She’ll be 8. I wonder about having flowers delivered.....
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    What if you had someone come to the room to do manicures? 
  • Is the issue that she's taking a backseat to another event?   Will the presents be in the hotel?  Could you have them waiting so that there's a present waiting as she shows up like a few LOL Dolls or something Harry Potter or whatever she's into?  (I say as a mom of an 8 yo girl rattling off her favorites).   

    If she likes manicures/pedicures I'd do those too.

    Can she get some quality mom/daughter time that day?   
  • I think she just wants to be at home.  We’re driving in the night before and have nothing going on that day. She knows we’re taking her presents with us. 
  • I feel ya on kid's rejecting the idea of being away from home for their bday. DefConn is going to be on vacation with my parents (to FL) and it's taken him months to warm up to the idea.  He's still got his moments about it all.  We're having dinner with them on Sunday so they can game plan the trip with him. 

    I need to go get small stuff to send with them that he can open from us on his actual birthday because he won't be home until 2 days later.  

    I like the idea of having flowers delivered.  Does she have anything she's a big fan of? Maybe plan little surprises throughout the day (small gifts at certain times), to make it fun and keep her on her toes/lessen the disappointment?
  • Can she bring a friend to go with you all? 

    If the trip is for a tournament/not a family vacation maybe letting bring a friend would be fun? If not can is there anyone that can stay with her at home so she doesn’t have to go?
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited February 2019
    6fsn said:
    I think she just wants to be at home.  We’re driving in the night before and have nothing going on that day. She knows we’re taking her presents with us. 
    Do you need to be there then? If nothing is going on that day?

    I almost think if the answer is yes, we have to be there, then you stop trying to make it seem fun when it isn’t fun to her. Yes of course presents and cake and pizza and room service and the hotel pool, but no sense in adding tons of extras that still aren’t what she wants. 
  • It is for a tournament that starts Saturday morning 9 am. It’s a 3 hr drive so we have to be get there some time before then.  He birthday is that Friday, but there is no school that day. She loves our local science place and usually picks that for her birthday fun day and asks to go there more often than we do. I THOUGHT it was a perfect plan to go after school Thursday and spend the day Friday goofing off:(

    There is no way for her to bring a friend or leave her home. 

    In room manicures might be an option but the boys would have to leave and then there’s a 50/50 shot she’d rather do that. 

    Ugh. I have mom guilt:(

  • Can you take her out and find some place fun in the area that would make for great girl bonding?   Could you and your H split so you take her for a couple hours?

    The way I'm interpreting this is that she's taking a back seat to big brother for her birthday and it's stinging.  She wants to stay home = "I am doing what I don't want on my birthday because my sibling is more important than me" (in her mind). I would be torn up with mom guilt too.    That said - I wouldn't change what you're doing either.   This parenting shit is hard. 

    The other thing I'd throw out is a possible make up event.   A sleepover a bigger deal - something. 

  • She has a sleepover planned for the weekend before and a family party the weekend after (this is NEVER on an actual birthday.).

    A typical birthday day is out to dinner and home for presents. We always do a fun day where the kid gets to pick something to do, but it’s almost never on the actual bday. 

    I really don’t think she wants girl time but I can certainly ask. It’s never been her MO in the past. 

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    edited February 2019
    This might be a giant PITA, but is the hotel pet friendly? Could you being the cat(s)? I only say this because your OP said she said she wanted to hang out with the cats.

    I totally agree with Banana's last post. I would feel the same mom guilt for sure.

    I know 8 is still pretty young but she's eventually going to need to learn that birthdays =/= rest of the world stops. Because if not, she'll be here in 20 years complaining that her third cousin is getting married in the same lunar cycle as she is (I'm totally kidding here). 

    Is there anything she doesn't like about staying in a hotel in general? Like, if she always whines about having to sleep with her brother, could you get a roll-away bed for her to sleep in alone? Something like that?

    Would she respond well if the next day, after 6let's tournament (or between games) if you had cake again or did another "birthday" thing for her? I also like Banana's suggestion of one of you taking her somewhere during the tournament (if I read that correctly).

    Edited because that isn't going to work. WTF am I expecting you to do with the poor cat during the games? LOL
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    FWIW, I loved hotel birthdays as a kid. My birthday is in February, and hotels were the only place I know of that had indoor pools. My parents would book a room, and I could swim and have a slumber party with my friends (mom would stay in the adjoining room, so we felt like we were all grown up and alone). Plus, we got to make a mess without my mom freaking out. 

    I know none of that makes it better for M2, if it isn't what she wants. Can you play up the special aspects of a hotel vs. the drawback of being away from home and friends? 
  • Yeah - the reality is that your birthday means that life still happens.   But when you're 8 they don't know that.

    I think you're doing the right thing.   Is it also possible that the butthurt may go away as she gets closer to her birthday? 

    Also, I hope that the siblings are also going to be told that it's also a big day for sis too.   Because you also want a little give and take.   And when that doesn't work take a nip to bed. 
  • Thanks for all the input. I do appreciate it. 

    We usually stay in suites and put the kids on the pull out couch/floor in the other room. She’s never complained but maybe this time she could have the extra double bed. 

    Her brother knows darn well that Friday is her day, not his. 

    I can count one hand how many birthday parties with friends I’ve had in my life. I did have a “surprise” party at a road side rest on a drive home from Atlanta. I was 9. 

  • maine7mobmaine7mob Maine, USA member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments First Answer
    Her brother is a champion futsal/soccer player, correct? This is the issue. There's not much you can do about this except to be sure to give her special time when you're not on the road for his games. Even then, the situation is difficult and I feel for you!
  • is there a slime class at said museum?
    And-or something birthday-special we do?
    (I get to give away free tickets to said slime class for birthday kids:blush: )
  • edited February 2019
    I feel for you; is it possible for you and m2 to stay home and have your H go to the tournament (or vice versa)? I’m sure that’s not ideal and the world doesn’t stop for kids birthdays, but maybe there’s a way to adjust this time? 

    My sister and I played travel sports (on very different teams/schedules) and often one parent would go to one tournament, one stayed home or went to another. I know that’s not always possible & you probably want to keep everyone together. 
  • GBCK said:
    is there a slime class at said museum?
    And-or something birthday-special we do?
    (I get to give away free tickets to said slime class for birthday kids:blush: )
    Slime is totally her love language!  We’re still kind of negotiating, but I’ll leep this in mind. I’m second guessing spending $100 if she’s going to be a crank pot though! 
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    also, are you members at your main sci museum/children's museum?  see if they have recip. priv.  Saves booku $ sometimes.
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    We we are members at cosi in Columbus. They don’t have reciprocity:( I checked our zoo and as nembership. 
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I got to make birthday slime with a 2 year old today--only kid in my slime class.  he got zero science, but, 2 year olds like slme.  ANd we mixed colors.  Color mixing is science at 2.
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