Dear Prudence,
My daughter is 11 and trans. I admit I am not entirely OK with this (it is scary, and I worry we aren’t doing everything right), but I try to keep that to myself. It seems to be right for her, and that’s what is important. Our rule has been that she can’t do anything irreversible until she is 18, which was the same for her older brother with tattoos, so she has accepted it with good grace for now. However, we did decide to do puberty blockers, since puberty isn’t reversible either, and it would make transition easier for her later, if that’s what she pursues.
However, my sister-in-law is a doctor, and when she found out we were considering it, she listed off all these awful side effects and said that it was a terrible idea. She said if we went ahead, she’d have to consider reporting us to child protective services. My daughter was devastated and scared, and so was I. My initial reaction was to deny the blockers, since plenty of people who are trans went through puberty, but I have thought about it, and all medication has potential side effects. I am on medication for my skin that lists death as a possible complication. I take that because the benefits outweigh the small risk. I think we should go ahead, but this little voice in my head keeps saying, “She is a doctor.” Am I making a mistake?
—Doctor or Doom-monger?