I’m looking for advice on when and how to disclose past trauma in a romantic relationship. At 16, I was in a car accident. My injuries were severe enough that I required emergency brain surgery and used a wheelchair for several months. I maintained excellent grades after the accident and am currently working as a scientist, but I also developed anxiety, depression, and a serious eating disorder, and the mental health effects still linger 10 years later. I survived those years thanks to some amazing therapy, but my young adulthood is defined by sadness in my memory. I’ve recently started dating again and have found that matches tend to use common high school and college experiences as a way to try and connect. Should I lie and play along? Do I pretend to be “the chill girl”?
—Not Sure Whether to Share