Dear Prudence,
I’m getting married this year, and we are having a very small wedding with immediate family members only. My fiancé’s brother has a girlfriend he’s been with for a couple of years, but we have only met her once. None of us have any idea how serious the relationship is since she hasn’t attended any family functions (for whatever reason—it’s none of my business). We invited her, but I had to ask for her name because we don’t know her at all, which felt awkward. I have suggested a get-together to become better acquainted beforehand.
My question is: How do we deal with formal family portraits in this situation? I can’t imagine a tactful way to say, “OK, let’s get the siblings in here—now Girlfriend, step out for the next shot,” even if it’s the photographer saying it and not me. (It might be worse for him to do it instead of one of us!) Do we have to just suck it up and rely on Photoshop if they break up? I don’t want to offend her at an already awkward event for someone who doesn’t know anyone, but I also want to be practical. (A friend had to pay her photographer to Photoshop a sister’s boyfriend out when they broke up a couple months after her wedding.)
—Unknown Guest at Small Wedding