Dear Prudence,
I’m engaged to a loving man. Before we met, I incurred significant debt going through a divorce and becoming a single parent. I wasn’t a reckless spender, but living below the poverty line for years with a young child while experiencing medical emergencies is very expensive. I no longer live in poverty, and I am confident in my budgeting skills. My fiancé has offered to wipe out this debt, and he has the financial means to do so easily. Part of me jumps at the thought of a fresh start, where I can save money each month instead of throwing it at years of debt and high interest. The other part sees this as completely unfair to him. I incurred this debt before he ever knew me, and it feels like it should be my burden alone. He sees it as a major point of stress in my life and an easy fix to a less stressful future for both of us.
—Take a Handout?