Only you can decide, LW. However, I'd be looking for a new therapist.
Dear Prudence,
Recently, when I searched for my therapist’s website, one of the first Google results for her name was a public comment she made about some newly proposed legislation in my state to ban conversion therapy. She is opposed to the ban. I read her argument, and it was calm (rather than some of the more obviously and intensely bigoted statements). But she is still OK with parents trying to convert their gay, bi, and trans children.
I grew up in a very religious environment, and I watched beloved friends go through conversion therapy as a teenager, and it was awful. I’m also bisexual and worried how I could trust a therapist who feels this way with my own sexual orientation. I’m so torn. I really like her. I already knew she was religious, and it hadn’t really been an issue before. It took me a year to actually talk about my trauma in therapy, and I can’t picture myself starting over with someone else. I reached out to her (she’s currently on family leave), and she says that her comments have nothing to do with our therapeutic relationship. She wants to meet to talk about it when she gets back. A friend also wondered aloud if I am self-sabotaging the progress I’ve made by taking this to heart. But I can’t forget what I read, and I kind of feel like it would be a betrayal to my teen self and LGBT kids everywhere to keep going. Am I self-sabotaging or protecting myself if I don’t go back? Would I be stupid to keep going?
—Anxious Patient
Re: Only you can decide, LW. However, I'd be looking for a new therapist.
I adore my therapist. It helps we're around the same age and have similar lifestyles, so she really gets where I am coming from. She's employed by a major area health/hospital system.
Anyway, I understand LW has put in work with this person...but this is so egregious and awful. I think LW could maybe challenge their therapist on this position, but I'd honestly just start trying to divorce myself from the relationship and find someone new. LW could drop sessions with the current therapist and start trying out new ones. LW does not need to explain anything either. I bet the Gottman Institute (who's research is AMAZING) has articles on breaking up with a therapist.
I had a really great therapist, but since I live in the literal buckle of the Bible belt, when I called for one, when asked for requirements, I said that their counseling degree couldn't be from a religious institution and I wouldn't accept one that practiced religious counseling at all (even if they wouldn't practice it with me). It left me 2 people to chose from, from an entire staff of over 20 therapists.
I also think you should tell your friend to mind her own business about your therapy. If you can’t trust your therapist, for whatever reason, you shouldn’t be seeing them. It isn’t self-sabotage, it’s self-preservation.
It bothers me there are therapists that still do this in general