Wedding Woes

Wednesday

It's noon on the East Coast and no Wednesday yet!

We are off from yoga for the next two weeks while my teacher is away in Austria.  So tonight, I am going to the AR Workshop to make a front porch sign.  It says welcome and has a pineapple at the top.  I'm excited!  I just really need to get working on scraping and repainting the rocking chairs to complete the new front porch look.  I got the paint and tools to do the chairs last year, but lost steam!

Last night H and I worked to move furniture in our bedroom and vacuum up the dust bunnies.  It was this process that we found the 10 stink bugs living in our curtains!  It was at the window that had our temporary AC unit.  So I think they just got in because I didn't have the window pieces very air tight.  Hopefully, since we have the screen back in and the window completely shut, they can't find there way in anymore.  Ever since the siding was done, we have had a small influx of stink bugs and spiders, probably because they all got disturbed during the construction.  

What else is up WW?

Re: Wednesday

  • I just bought two massive Costco bags of tot candy and I have to hold on to it for 1.5 weeks before trunk or treat.  Send me all the “don’t eat the candy” vibes. Lol

    My car is fixed. It was $$$, but less than we thought it would be. 

    Enjoying a day off with DefConn. It’s cold and we’re getting running around done this early afternoon. I think we may snuggle up with a movie later. :) 
  • SSDD here. We're supposed to be getting a crazy rain storm later, so I'm sure the drive home will take forever. 

    I was able to get some things done around the house yesterday, and it was so nice to have an extra day to catch up on that stuff. 

    The Tough Mudder is this weekend, and I'm terrified. 
  • SSDD here. I worked yesterday so I’m pretty tired today. I have plans to work on the house and get some stuff done that I wasn’t able to to yesterday. It’s 92 out here today. Blah. Come on, fall, where are you? 

    I hope your commute is better than expected @climbingwife. And you’re going to do great this weekend!


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  • I had the worst night last night, smh.  I went to Harrah's to download $60 in free slot play to my account.  I was waiting in the valet line, when a taxi driver approached me and told me my tire was flat.  It didn't feel flat, so I just assumed the air was low.  I continued into one of the valet lanes, when it was my turn and then looked at the tire when I got out of my car.

    WTF!!!  It was almost completely flat.  So they can't take my car for valet.  But they were kind enough to let me keep it in the valet lane, until I could get a tow truck there.

    So, that's all bad enough.  But wait.  My ordeal has just started.  I call Progressive at 6:30 because I have roadside assistance with them.  They don't secure the dispatch until 7:00PM.  The usual spiel is that it will take 45 minutes for a tow truck to get there.  Though, in my experience, it usually only takes 20-30 minutes.

    One hour and 15 minutes after getting the dispatch e-mail with the tow truck company's name, I call Progressive back.  They contact the driver.  "Oh, he's just 13 minutes away.  He'll be there soon."  45 minutes later, I call Progressive again....so I've now been waiting TWO hours for the tow truck!  "Oh, yeah sorry. The tow driver had trouble dropping off the last tow.  But he's done now and is on his way!  Should be there in 15 minutes.  But we're sending out another dispatch, just in case."  20 minutes later, for the first time, I get call from the driver of the original tow company.  "Yeah, sorry.  My truck broke down and I'm fixing the hose.  But I'll be there in an HOUR."  GTFO, smh.

    Thankfully, the second tow company they contacted only took 20 minutes to get there.  OMG, if only they had called them first!  At that point, I'd been waiting over 3 hours, just for the tow.  And 3.5 hours total.  Seriously.  My first call to Progressive had been at 6:30PM.  I finally walked through my front door at 10:40PM!

    ---------------------------

    Sorry, long story I need to vent and get it out.  A different frustration, lol.

    In the meantime, I've been having trouble again with the same tenant I've previously complained about.  She's the one who lost her job shortly after moving in (April).  Bailed on selling her pralines during Essence Fest, despite being broke and late (again) on her rent.

    But things had been looking so hopeful because she got a f/t job about 6 weeks ago and apparently had also picked up a p/t job.  Though, caveat, she got snagged a couple months ago on a traffic stop.  With a warrant out for her arrest on a different traffic ticket she had ignored.  Long story short, she's had to pay s**t tons of money for that (supposedly) with two big, final payments due on Oct. 7th and Oct. 14th.  

    So, against my own interest, I gave her extra leeway this month on the rent.  With the understanding that she needs to let me know what her plans are through November to get caught back up.

    Long story short again...because even the short versions are long, lol...she has refused to give me that information after multiple requests.

    Her initial response over a week ago was that October would be paid before the end of the month.  When more details did not come, I sent her a reminder on Mon. that she needed to be more specific, ie her paydays and what she is paying for each.  Especially since we are now halfway through the month and she hasn't paid anything.

    Her response was "last time we talked I thought we agreed to by the end of the month."  Oh, f**king EXCUSE ME?!?!  We didn't "talk".  She texted she would have it paid BY the end of the month.  Not AT the end of the month.  Which was now the impression she was giving me, because she didn't answer the direct question.  I corrected her that she told me it would be by the end of the month and I had been expecting a follow up with a more specific schedule.  I reiterated...just to make it very clear...that she needed to be making payments throughout the month.  Not waiting until the end.  She replied she was doing some business and would get back to me about her "next move".

    Okay, fine.  So while I'm sitting for hours waiting for the tow.  Well!  No time like the present to reach out to her again.  Because it's now been a day and a half since she was supposed to get back to me about her "next move".

    I think the end of this story, so far, is best expressed with the actual texts:

    "Ok, I owe you for this month.  I'm not behind on no months and I told you I will let you know my next move.  I'm not behind on no months.  I owe for this month.  You would think I'm a month or two behind.  And I keep telling you the same thing over and over again."

    Me:  "Right.  But are two weeks late for this month and haven't given me any indication on of when you'll be paying what.  That's a lot of risk for me and I hardly think it is too much to ask for what I can expect.  I've also given you over 24 hours for your response."

    She hasn't replied back.

    And do you know why?  Because she doesn't f**king know how she is going to pay this month's rent.  That's what the whole acting angry and putting me off song and dance is about.

    As much as I hate to give up on her when she FINALLY got a f/t job (I checked).  Especially considering how much I've suffered with her all these months.  I am SO done being a doormat and putting up with all her bs.  I'm preparing a 5-Day Pay or Quit notice today and my H will post it on the door tomorrow.

    And THAT is one of the really suck and frustrating things about being a landlady.  Because you don't want to uproot someone's life and, a little selfishly, you don't want to upset your own apple cart either.  So you try to give and take.  Try to TEMPORARILY be flexible and work with people when they are going through a bad time.  But flexibility quickly becomes "expectation".  And some people want to push, push, push boundaries further and are neither reasonable nor fair in return.  So when I finally say "No!  I'm pushed too far and I can't."  Now I'm the monster.  And, while that doesn't hurt my feelings.  It's still galling when you bend over backwards to help someone and they spit in your face (proverbially).
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Yikes that a double headache @short+sassy
    Brazen move buying candy this early @mrsconn23!
    SSDD today, minus the same flood warning you're probably under @climbingwife. Yesterday was crazy busy so I'm thankful for the relative calm of today.
  • S+S - That Nip story is so cute!  Until you get to the rando cat in your house!  We do have a plastic piece that gets installed, but since we had to take it in/out each day for the siding guys, we never officially secured it.  And since it wasn't crazy hot, we didn't make sure every nook and cranny was filled in.  

    And ugh to your flat tire!  Do you not have a spare?  If you had a spare, I'm sure a valet would have helped to change it.

    And ugh to your tenant!  You are right that she is just taking advantage of your generosity while she was unemployed and trying to see how far she can stretch it.

    Climbing - You will do awesome!
  • @short+sassy she is the kind of person who is not going to take responsibility for her actions because doing so means that when bad things are going on they aren't just happening to her but she is the cause.  

    I hope you don't have issues filling her space and I'm sure you were born at night but not last night so this isn't your first rodeo (how many other metaphors can I throw in?)  but if I had your $60 to bet at Harrah's it would be that things are only going to suck getting her to pay as the holidays and winter approach.    
  • Work is busy, it’s been storming all day, and I keep getting stupid spam calls and it’s driving me bananas. 

    Things are generally good; I’m transitioning in my role, and it’s definitely an adjustment. I’m excited for it, I like it, but the transition period is hard.  
  • Trying to decide if I want to go to yoga tonight.  I always enjoy it when I do, but means I won't get eat dinner til 8ish, and I want to also get some things done around the house because some family is coming in this weekend and H has a work event tonight so I won't be interrupted.  If I don't go, i'll walk when i get home, but also my shoulders are kind of tight and yoga would feel great.  That's the biggest dilemma in my life right now, yoga or no - so I guess things are going pretty well, lol. 

    @short+sassy what a nightmare - both the car and the tenant!
    @climbingwife - good luck this weekend, I'm sure you'll have an awesome time!
  • @climbingwife, Yeah!  Good luck on your Tough Mudder!  You'll do great.  And good luck with traffic.

    Your mention of rain reminded me of weather.  The heat is still never ending down here.  The highs are in the 80s most days for the rest of Oct.

    And, because it's still hot, there is even a tropical storm forming in the Gulf, smh.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • S+S - That Nip story is so cute!  Until you get to the rando cat in your house!  We do have a plastic piece that gets installed, but since we had to take it in/out each day for the siding guys, we never officially secured it.  And since it wasn't crazy hot, we didn't make sure every nook and cranny was filled in.  

    And ugh to your flat tire!  Do you not have a spare?  If you had a spare, I'm sure a valet would have helped to change it.

    And ugh to your tenant!  You are right that she is just taking advantage of your generosity while she was unemployed and trying to see how far she can stretch it.

    Climbing - You will do awesome!
    Ya know!  I don't have a spare tire.  One of the valets even asked me about that.  It's a 2011 basic pickup truck that I bought used last year summer.  I never thought about a spare, but I should get one.

    My post was already so long I didn't talk about the truck, lol.  I bought all new tires shortly after purchasing the truck, so they're all only about a year old.  I had it towed to the same place I got the tires (Firestone).

    When I talked to them this morning, apparently that rim was a bit bent and that's why it had gotten flat.  No idea how that happened!  I didn't hit anything.  But it is an older rim, which apparently made it easier and possible for Firestone to just bend it back into shape.  But, noted!  I suppose it could happen again to either that one or one of the others.  I'll hope for the best.  There is a Firestone that is walking distance to my work.  It is SO handy!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I am so sleepy today and I don't really know why.  Okay, well...I did have a busy weekend and I did go out late on Monday, but I slept last night, dangit!!!  :smiley:  I have been trying to get up at 6 am this week, so that I can get it programmed into my body.  I did on Monday, but we went out Monday night, so I didn't Tuesday and we had a house guest last night, so I didn't this morning.  But I'll try and get back on schedule tomorrow.

    I've been working my butt off at work.  Which is good because I really needed to.  I finally got big projects that had been delayed out, then picked all of the billion little small things I needed to do, and am well on my way to smooth sailing for awhile.  I did have a small meltdown where I almost cried this morning, but I got it all fixed and smoothed out.  I just really dislike how other people do things here.

    We're trying to get a trip planned out for December to go to Crystal Bridges.  I really want to stay at the 21c hotel and run around with the penguin statues.  We have 2 concert trips coming up in November, a meet and greet with Toderick Hall and then Indigo Girls.  I'm really looking forward to this fall.  
  • if I heard the word "innovative" or any variation of the word one more time at work today I might scream. It's been the recent buzzword at work and I'm soooo tired of hearing it over and over
  • kvruns said:
    if I heard the word "innovative" or any variation of the word one more time at work today I might scream. It's been the recent buzzword at work and I'm soooo tired of hearing it over and over
    See!  And the problem with that is, because you all are at work, you can't even turn it into a drinking game.

    The last company I worked for, our project was featured on one of those Discovery shows.  I think Mega Engineering (something like that).  Two of the junior engineers, on loan to us from headquarters, were living in the same corporate housing building.

    They were hilarious!  They planned to watch the show together when it aired and created a drinking game for it.  There were a number of rules, but the only two I remember were:

    1) Swig of beer every time the show mentioned Katrina (the project was flood gates).

    2) A shot every time the show was mistaken about something they were talking about.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Gah, I'm stuck in a box. 

    S&S, that sucks you had to wait so long for the tow! I drive so much for work, I'd be screwed without a spare. 

    You've been way more understanding with this tenant than most landlords would have been. I had one landlord that expected the rent check in his mailbox on the 1st at 8am. I'm not even kidding. One time, I left for work and forgot to put my rent check in the box. Mind you, I worked literally 5 minutes from the house, and came home for lunch every day. And he knew this. But I still received a call from him, extremely angry, asking that I come home immediately to give him my check. I didn't even get an HOUR leeway. 
  • Gah, I'm stuck in a box. 

    S&S, that sucks you had to wait so long for the tow! I drive so much for work, I'd be screwed without a spare. 

    You've been way more understanding with this tenant than most landlords would have been. I had one landlord that expected the rent check in his mailbox on the 1st at 8am. I'm not even kidding. One time, I left for work and forgot to put my rent check in the box. Mind you, I worked literally 5 minutes from the house, and came home for lunch every day. And he knew this. But I still received a call from him, extremely angry, asking that I come home immediately to give him my check. I didn't even get an HOUR leeway. 
    Damn!  Most places I rent from have had a 5 day grace period.  No law or anything it’s just typical.

    work has been busy.  I’m SO tired and I can’t even go home.  I have a dentist appt after work.  Also, I’m a bottomless pit. 

  • Gah, I'm stuck in a box. 

    S&S, that sucks you had to wait so long for the tow! I drive so much for work, I'd be screwed without a spare. 

    You've been way more understanding with this tenant than most landlords would have been. I had one landlord that expected the rent check in his mailbox on the 1st at 8am. I'm not even kidding. One time, I left for work and forgot to put my rent check in the box. Mind you, I worked literally 5 minutes from the house, and came home for lunch every day. And he knew this. But I still received a call from him, extremely angry, asking that I come home immediately to give him my check. I didn't even get an HOUR leeway. 
    Can't most landlords not have any recourse for 10 days even if you have a lease or is that one of those things that varies state by state?  In CT I believe you can't call a tenant late until day 10 but after that all bets are off. 
  • Gah, I'm stuck in a box. 

    S&S, that sucks you had to wait so long for the tow! I drive so much for work, I'd be screwed without a spare. 

    You've been way more understanding with this tenant than most landlords would have been. I had one landlord that expected the rent check in his mailbox on the 1st at 8am. I'm not even kidding. One time, I left for work and forgot to put my rent check in the box. Mind you, I worked literally 5 minutes from the house, and came home for lunch every day. And he knew this. But I still received a call from him, extremely angry, asking that I come home immediately to give him my check. I didn't even get an HOUR leeway. 
    My other car, a MINI Cooper, doesn't have room in the trunk for a spare, lol.  But those tires are run-flats.  With that said, I'm not sure run-flats would help if the leak is coming from a bent rim.  Hmmm.

    On your previous landlord, really lame.  That is so ridiculous and unnecessary in the other direction.  Plus, no matter the situation, it's not appropriate for a landlord to display anger, yell/raise their voice, etc.  While I can understand why it happens, it's still a professional relationship and there is no place for that kind of behavior.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • banana468 said:
    Gah, I'm stuck in a box. 

    S&S, that sucks you had to wait so long for the tow! I drive so much for work, I'd be screwed without a spare. 

    You've been way more understanding with this tenant than most landlords would have been. I had one landlord that expected the rent check in his mailbox on the 1st at 8am. I'm not even kidding. One time, I left for work and forgot to put my rent check in the box. Mind you, I worked literally 5 minutes from the house, and came home for lunch every day. And he knew this. But I still received a call from him, extremely angry, asking that I come home immediately to give him my check. I didn't even get an HOUR leeway. 
    Can't most landlords not have any recourse for 10 days even if you have a lease or is that one of those things that varies state by state?  In CT I believe you can't call a tenant late until day 10 but after that all bets are off. 
    That is one of those things that varies a lot by state/jurisdiction.  Here in Orleans parish, I can post a Pay or Quit notice the day after rent is late, if I want to.

    And for the Pay or Quit notice itself, I think most states are a 3-Day notice.  Mine happens to be a 5-Day notice.  But some states require even longer than that.  And that is business days only, and the day it's posted does not count as one of those days.

    @CharmedPam, some tenants can get confused by a "grace period".  Typically, a grace period is the time when a tenant can pay the rent without incurring a late fee.  And while "grace periods" are common in leases, they are at the property owner's discretion.  But, if allowed by law, a Pay or Quit notice can still be issued during a grace period.

    Because people sometimes get confused by that term.  Or pretend to be confused, lol.  I just plain ole' took the term "grace period" right out of my leases.

    My leases say something like $1,000 is due on the 1st of each month and a $25 late fee is incurred on the 4th of each month, if all rent monies have not been paid in full.  It is exactly the same thing as a grace period, lol.  I just don't call it that.

    ---------
    I had a set of tenants...one of my worst...whose rental due date was the 27th (I don't do weird dates like that anymore).  So their verbiage was changed appropriately and the 1st was the LAST day they could pay before incurring a late charge.  They CHOSE the 27th as the day they were moving in.  That was the date the lease started, that we all signed.  Then, at the last minute, they couldn't move in until the 29th.

    Well, the breadwinner got paid on the 1st.  So, the second month, I asked them about the rent on the 1st and reminded them there would be a late charge if I got it after that.  They get all up in arms because they have a "5 day grace period" and their rent is due on the 29th.  I couldn't believe they thought that because THEY were late moving in, that magically changed the terms of the lease.  No.  So then they want to change the due date to the 1st to coincide with when the wife gets paid.

    Sure, not a problem. Just add $118 to your rental payment to account for the extra 3 days and I'll draw up an addendum to change your rental due date to the 1st.  They both looked at me stunned and with their mouths agape, smh.  Wow, again.  They're the ones who want to change the due date, yet expect me to eat 3 days of rent for giving them that convenience.  They didn't actually say that.  But their expressions did.  With a bit of mumbling and a retreat.  They never brought it up again nor did they ever give me $118 to change it.  Heck, they quickly went way downhill and couldn't even pay the normal rent, much less come up with some extra to change their due date.  I started doing more comprehensive background checks after those awful people.  Not a doubt in my mind that, if I had, there would have been red flags galore and I never would have rented to them.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • kvruns said:
    if I heard the word "innovative" or any variation of the word one more time at work today I might scream. It's been the recent buzzword at work and I'm soooo tired of hearing it over and over
    Yes! 

    Also, “align on a problem”, agile (and not in the actual methodology), and opportunity as a euphemism for weak or bad. 
  • Yeah, that landlord was pretty ridiculous. I can't recall if the lease said if there was a grace period - I started renting from him back in 2008. And at the time he demanded the rent check, I had already been renting from him for a year, with never a late rent check. In total, I was his tenant for 5 years and in all of that time, I was always crazed about making sure my rent check was in his mailbox in time. But from what I remember in NY, most of the renting laws protect the tenant more than the landlord. 

    Anyway, he was a dick. 
  • Yeah, that landlord was pretty ridiculous. I can't recall if the lease said if there was a grace period - I started renting from him back in 2008. And at the time he demanded the rent check, I had already been renting from him for a year, with never a late rent check. In total, I was his tenant for 5 years and in all of that time, I was always crazed about making sure my rent check was in his mailbox in time. But from what I remember in NY, most of the renting laws protect the tenant more than the landlord. 

    Anyway, he was a dick. 
    Funny you should mention that. Recently NYS added even more protections for renters in NY. If I was a landlord in this state, I'd be getting out of the game. Everyone tells my husband and I that we should rent out our house when we buy a new house and that is something I don't even want to entertain. Particularly in the area I live now. I watched two sets of tenants pretty much destroy the house next door to mine until the landlord was finally able to get them out and sell the house.
  • My husband has always talked about renting our house out when we decide to move, and I'm 100% against it. 
  • kvruns said:
    if I heard the word "innovative" or any variation of the word one more time at work today I might scream. It's been the recent buzzword at work and I'm soooo tired of hearing it over and over
    It's "spark" around here.  I'm about to 'spark' something and burn it all down. :)  I hate campaigns that are centered around a buzzword that they use in every.single.communication and also, they send out a zillion e-mails to drum up 'excitement'.  I've gotten about 20 e-mails about the 'spark' program in the last week and a half or so.  Please jeebus, STOP!
  • Yeah, that landlord was pretty ridiculous. I can't recall if the lease said if there was a grace period - I started renting from him back in 2008. And at the time he demanded the rent check, I had already been renting from him for a year, with never a late rent check. In total, I was his tenant for 5 years and in all of that time, I was always crazed about making sure my rent check was in his mailbox in time. But from what I remember in NY, most of the renting laws protect the tenant more than the landlord. 

    Anyway, he was a dick. 
    Funny you should mention that. Recently NYS added even more protections for renters in NY. If I was a landlord in this state, I'd be getting out of the game. Everyone tells my husband and I that we should rent out our house when we buy a new house and that is something I don't even want to entertain. Particularly in the area I live now. I watched two sets of tenants pretty much destroy the house next door to mine until the landlord was finally able to get them out and sell the house.
    OMG, yeah!  I would never own rentals in NYC...maybe NY state, but probably not and I'd have to look more into it.  Probably not NJ either.  MA and CA are also horrible states to hold rental properties because of the extremely heavy-handed tenant favored laws.  I wouldn't play in those playgrounds either, lol.  FWIW, there should be protections for tenants because, just like there are crappy/shady tenants, I know there are also crappy/shady landlords.  But it should still be a fair and reasonable system for everyone.    

    Outside of that, more often than not, it's usually not a good idea to rent out a previous home.  Primarily because, when that home was originally purchased, it wasn't purchased with numbers being crunched for it being a rental.  So, for people who want to invest, it's typically a better use for their money to sell the home and buy other one(s).

    Plus, a lot of homeowners will initially look at it like, "I can rent my house out for $1500.  My mortgage, including property tax and insurance, is only $1180.  So, sweet!  I'll make an extra $320/month!"  Except they don't know to factor in about 18% of the monthly rent to cover repairs and occasional periods of vacancy.  18% is a good average and what most investors use.  So, in my scenario, they'd also have an average monthly expense of $270/month for that.  However, that's an average over a long period of time.  The costs for those categories are typically zero for most months, but then when there is a repair problem or a vacancy, it's an expense in a bigger chunk.

    So now, it's approx. a $50/month cash flow.  And nobody wants to deal with a rental for only 50 bucks a month...unless there are other factors going on, like a strong chance of appreciation.  Not to mention, there is potentially large amounts of equity trapped in that property, that now the person is only getting $50/month for.

    With all that said, if any of you all are ever thinking about moving and renting out your previous home, feel free to PM me.  I'd be happy to run an analysis of your numbers to give you a good idea.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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