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How hard should I clutch my pearls over a little coke?

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I love my kids’ school. It’s quirky, a bit scruffy, diverse, and the teachers are great. Our kids are very happy there, and we have become friends with some of the other parents. Once a year there is a big fundraiser just for the parents. There is a bar and dancing, and it’s a fun night out. I was having a lovely time until the mother of one of my daughter’s best friends told me that she’d just had some cocaine with the mother of another of my daughter’s friends. Cocaine! We are all in our late 30s and 40s. These are the families who invite our kid for sleepovers and sit on the parents committee. I did not expect to be dealing with hard drugs at this chapter in my life. What do I do with this information? I like my friends. I like their kids. I’d say I’m worried, but honestly my biggest reaction is that I’m horrified. I think cocaine has no place in the life of parents and especially not at an elementary school event. I want to express my disapproval and check if this happens in their home lives (i.e., while they have care of their own kids or are looking after mine) while not coming across as a jerk or a judgmental prude.  Suggestions?

—Cocaine at School Fundraiser

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Re: How hard should I clutch my pearls over a little coke?

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    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    "We are all in our late 30s and 40s." - this is cracking me up. Welcome to real life where people in their 30s and 40s do coke...lol. 

    Honestly, I don't see the big deal. It's a fun night out with just adults, drinking and dancing. 
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    banana468banana468 member
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    I wouldn't trust someone who brings illegal drugs to a school fundraiser and would have issues trusting the person who also chose to partake.  

    I'm not terribly confrontational so I'd probably take the route of turning down invitations to events where there my child would be left overnight in the supervision of those parents.

    Then it's time to talk to your kid about how to watch out for her own safety.   As kids age they get to know how to be their own advocate and that can mean how to navigate difficult social situations.   Some day I'm going to have to talk to Chiquita about how she should not partake in alcohol or drugs and if she's in a situation she's not comfortable in she can always call me to get her. 
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    CasadenaCasadena member
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    banana468 said:
    climbingwife said:
    "We are all in our late 30s and 40s." - this is cracking me up. Welcome to real life where people in their 30s and 40s do coke...lol. 

    Honestly, I don't see the big deal. It's a fun night out with just adults, drinking and dancing. 
    Yup.   FIL used to drive an ambulance in DH's hometown (Stepford was modeled after it).   He commented that he drove to several OD's for Wall Street / NYC big wigs who were doing heroin or tons of blow after their kids went to bed.   

    But because of his experience he was certainly not going to tell the kids about who was a user but neither DH nor BIL were at unsupervised play dates either.   

    IMO, if you want to partake I'm not going to narc on you but if I know you are a user you're not going to be the sole supervisor of my kid either. 
    This.  Do what you want in your own home, but I won't be sending my kids there knowing there is cocaine in the house or let you supervise my kids.  That said I think it's highly inappropriate to bring to, partake in, or publicize your cocaine use at a school fundraiser.  
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