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Early Thursday

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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in Wedding Woes
Surgery did not go as expected and mom is now in disease management.  There's no cure, only maintenance.  This sucks so hard.   She's hanging tough despite the news and the new reality.  I'm knocking off at half day to go see her for awhile.  We have not been home one night this week between our anniversary, scouts, and then unplanned family dinner last night at my parent's house, so we need a night to decompress.  DefConn needs something to be normal.  He knows something's up, but I'm not sure when we'll decide to sit down and explain it as best we can to an 8 year old.  Hell, I'm still trying to explain it to myself.   I'm also hoping I can be there today to catch one of her doctor visits and see what they say and ask questions.  Right now our concern is good days over bad and what will give her the most good days.  

SO yeah. This is some fucking bullshit.  I'm sad on all the levels, but I'm trying to focus my energy on living the moments and not what may or may not come to pass.  I'm also going to pull together my paperwork for FMLA (my therapist will sign off on it) so I can help out my parents with whatever since I have an incredibly flexible job and DH can leave work whenever if I am not home to get DefConn after school. 

DH is still being my rock star.  I have great friends who have been absolutely amazing.   I told both BIL's to take care of my sisters.  I know my sister's BFF's are also circling the wagons for them.  Also, I know you're all interwebz friends...but thank you to you guys as well.  ((monitor hugs)) :D 

Anyway, since I am leaving early...Prudie will be up early as well.  ;)  

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Re: Early Thursday

  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    Oh @mrsconn23 I was really hoping this was going to be a much different post today. So so sorry. It’s good your therapist will sign off on FMLA and that your job is flexible, hopefully you can spend a lot of time with your Mom. How’s she doing with the news? From what you’ve said before she was sick she was pretty active, this has got to be so hard. 
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    Working all day then packing for Indy! I’m super excited to see my running buddies and to get away for the weekend. Work has been stressful and as of next week I have two new direct reports so it’s only going to get busier. 
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  • cupcait927cupcait927 member
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    @charlotte989875 good luck at your race this weekend!

    @mrsconn23 I'm so sorry to hear the news about your mom. Glad to hear that you have an amazing support system and that you have the ability to take time off to be with your parents.

    I need this week to be over. Between the insane schedule and stress from work and the stress from pregnancy, my anxiety is at an all time high. I need some days off but that won't happen until Thanksgiving, and unfortunately we have something planned for every one of those 4 days.  
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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    I’m so sorry @mrsconn23. I was hoping so hard the surgery would show a better outcome. I’m glad you have a flexible job and can take FMLA. I’m sending your family all of the good vibes. 

    I woke up early in a panic from a dream/nightmare that could be true so I’m trying to figure that out. So instead of sleeping in now I’m stressing out. I also have no idea what the pay will be for that job yet. I’m getting annoyed. They sent me a release form to sign on Tuesday so they could talk to my current employer, but they haven’t told me the pay rate, dates of my physical, or start date, which was supposed to be on Monday. And because none of it is concrete I haven’t said anything to my current job. But now they’re going to get a fax from another job asking about recommending me. It’s really messed up and all of this stress could be for nothing if they call me with an offer that is way too low. I feel like their HR department is going about this all backwards. I’m just really frustrated. Ugh. 


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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    Oh @mrsconn23 I'm so sorry. My heart is hurting for you. Sending you all the love. 

    Not much going on here. H and I booked our ski trip for January, so I'm excited about that. 
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    @mrsconn23 I'm so sorry.  I know that this is hard for you.  I just want to say I'm so glad that you have a therapist, you have a plan of action for yourself, and you have a great support system.  It sounds like you're doing the best you can.

    SSDD for a Thursday.
    �
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  • MNNEBrideMNNEBride member
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    @mrsconn23 I'm sorry there wasn't good news yesterday.  You have lots of support here and at home.  
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  • kvrunskvruns member
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    sorry to hear it didn't go as expected @mrsconn23 was hoping for better news. I hope you can get some feeling of normalcy back today

    Good luck @charlotte989875 I hope you have a good time in Indy. It is going to be my favorite kind of running weather for a race like that. Hopefully you like cold too hehe
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    kvruns said:
    sorry to hear it didn't go as expected @mrsconn23 was hoping for better news. I hope you can get some feeling of normalcy back today

    Good luck @charlotte989875 I hope you have a good time in Indy. It is going to be my favorite kind of running weather for a race like that. Hopefully you like cold too hehe
    I do! The weather looks perfect for racing! Are you running, too??

    I’m doing the half although a bunch of my friends are doing the full. And we’re staying through Sunday so if anyone has recommendations please let me have them!!
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    @mrsconn23, I'm sorry there was such bad news for your mom!  I was thinking about you all yesterday.  All things considered, it's great to hear about the support systems you and your sisters have.  And that you should be able to take some FMLA.

    @charlotte989875, have fun at your race!  I know you've been looking forward to it all week.

    @levioosa, I don't blame you!  That is really frustrating...and outside the norm...that they didn't disclose the salary when they made the job offer.  Yet are going to contact your current employer before you even know for sure if you'll be taking the job!

    @cupcait927, I was thinking the same thing earlier this week, ie "I need a break!  When will I have time off again?  Oh yeah, Thanksgiving."  But Thanksgiving falls LATE this year!  How is it still 3 more weeks away, lol.

    I picked up an especially great paying retail mystery shop last night.  I can complete it either tonight or tomorrow, but will probably do it tomorrow.  It will take me out to one of the suburbs, where I have a whole bunch of dining coupons that will expire at the end of the year, lol.  So I'm planning to hit a few of those places and stock up the fridge.  Ooohhh...and a visit to Trader Joe's.  Hopefully they're already stocking some of the special holiday foods they do.
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    @mrsconn23 oh I'm so sorry to hear :( If you're able to see your therapist as well, they may have an idea how to talk to DefConn. Tbh it might just be easiest to just explain what you know and tell him your feelings that you're still trying to process and you're unsure of how things will be - that way he doesn't feel alone if he doesn't know how to process.

    @cupcait927 Take a deep breath. I know when pregnant, small things would cause my anxiety to sky rocket. Winter months we brutal and since a lot felt like claustrophobia - my dr said anxiety during pregnancy isn't uncommon. New body feels, etc. Mine was chalked to unfamiliar body and bundled up.
    Do what you can to feel better. Breathing. Mints/gum {idk why, these help me}


    I'm not a fan of winter. It snowed last night so obv the commute to work was disastrous. I made myself a bit later as well because I needed caffiene. Starbucks run - attn! Holiday drinks are in! It was literally at the point of "whatever, I'm late anyways ..."

    M has a phone interview today - which he's unsure about - and 1 in person interview tomorrow. Possibly another tomorrow {back to back} Those 2 he's a little more hopeful. The one he's got booked for sure would be a huge opportunity - financially and business wise.
    Using letters, I'll explain why this one would be a huge opportunity financially.

    M makes A and is asking for B-C and depending on where he's going, he's willing to negotiate back to A.
    If the location isn't close, he's pushing for D-E for gas/maintenance factors.
    M's recruiter is asking for F-G {originally asking for H} for this in person interview - which is almost 20K more than A! The company said no to H price because it would be hard against the people they currently have, but sounds like they're willing to do F-G :)

    It's hard not to be hopeful with this. M has agreed that if he gets a place with a good increase, once his debt is paid then he'll pay a couple things of daycare so I can drop the amount on to my student loans and pay that off faster.

    Groceries tonight, and I'm hoping to get some cleaning done.
    /novel
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    @MissKittyDanger, lots of luck to M!  It would be extra great if his impending layoff means he gets into an even BETTER job.

    I've had that happen a couple times in my career. In my earlier days, when there was a lot of "room for improvement" salary-wise lol, I got a 40% pay jump when I had to get another job and that set me up on a better trajectory for years to come.
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    @short+sassy  Best part is both in person interviews can definitely benefit us in other ways. One that's for higher pay could cut my commute time in half because he could drive me part of the way.
    Other one also could help cut commute time, but if BabyKitten has to be at my mum's for whatever reason, it's a very close location that she could walk to it and get her or a key if she's picking up BabyKitten at daycare for us.

    A pay bump regardless could definitely help, but the highest one would really just be the most beneficial because then I could pay down my debts faster!
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  • kvrunskvruns member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    kvruns said:
    sorry to hear it didn't go as expected @mrsconn23 was hoping for better news. I hope you can get some feeling of normalcy back today

    Good luck @charlotte989875 I hope you have a good time in Indy. It is going to be my favorite kind of running weather for a race like that. Hopefully you like cold too hehe
    I do! The weather looks perfect for racing! Are you running, too??

    I’m doing the half although a bunch of my friends are doing the full. And we’re staying through Sunday so if anyone has recommendations please let me have them!!
    I don't run anymore, i'm being uber lately these days. I do miss it though and should get back into it soon 
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
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    @mrsconn23, I am so sorry about your Mom. Was hoping for a better outcome. I'm glad you and the family have a good support system - so needed in these times. Hugs and prayers for you. DefConn's school may have some advice for how to talk to him. I talked our school's counselor about how to talk to DS2 (who was in third grade) when my Mom was sick and passed away. Make as many wonderful memories as you can.

    This week has been the worse. I had the 2nd shingles shot on Tuesday and had an awful reaction of being sleepy all day long - also didn't help that I had a cold thanks to the grandboys. Also the arm was so sore I couldn't reach up. Yesterday I went to the ortho about my bursitis. The steroid and anti inflam he had prescribed really didn't do much. So I got a cortisone shot. Ouch! I'm still sore from that. He said it could take 5-7 days for it to show improvement.  Today I'm trying to catch up on housework that hasn't been done for over a week. I was in Chicago for 5 days, and God forbid that H would vacuum or clean a toilet while I'm gone!
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    @mrsconn23, I am so sorry about your Mom. Was hoping for a better outcome. I'm glad you and the family have a good support system - so needed in these times. Hugs and prayers for you. DefConn's school may have some advice for how to talk to him. I talked our school's counselor about how to talk to DS2 (who was in third grade) when my Mom was sick and passed away. Make as many wonderful memories as you can.

    This week has been the worse. I had the 2nd shingles shot on Tuesday and had an awful reaction of being sleepy all day long - also didn't help that I had a cold thanks to the grandboys. Also the arm was so sore I couldn't reach up. Yesterday I went to the ortho about my bursitis. The steroid and anti inflam he had prescribed really didn't do much. So I got a cortisone shot. Ouch! I'm still sore from that. He said it could take 5-7 days for it to show improvement.  Today I'm trying to catch up on housework that hasn't been done for over a week. I was in Chicago for 5 days, and God forbid that H would vacuum or clean a toilet while I'm gone!
    @I@ILoveBeachMusic my aunt had the 2nd shot just a week ago with her husband and it knocked them both down.   She wound up running a fever and was then diagnosed with afib.   I think her condition is atypical but definitely don't ignore it if you feel like it's wearing you out!
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    Side note - confirmed M has 2 interviews tomorrow!
    And not I have to see if my mum can pick up BabyKitten from daycare because obv it's a day for early pick up *sigh*
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
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    @mrsconn23, hugs with the rest of us TK’ere. So sad to hear this news. And I’m so happy you can get flma to use the time to help out

    @MissKittyDanger woohoo on the 2nd interview.  Hope all goes well!

    SSDD for me too.  Well, PF Chang’s tonight so looking forward to that 

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