Wedding Woes
Options

There is no way to 'educate' in this manner.

Dear Prudence,

I am part of a fairly affluent crowd, and in the last few years, there has been a significant uptick in travel. At the same time, my awareness about environmental harm has grown, and I’m limiting my travel to necessary work travel, offsetting all flights including work, food, and consumption, and no longer sharing all about it when I do so that I don’t glorify travel. But I find myself feeling upset when I see my friends bragging about how many places they’ve flown to in a short period of time or how many miles they’ve accumulated with (at least that I’m aware) no regard for the harm it causes. How can I try to educate my community without making them feel defensive and judged? (It’s easy for me to cut back since I’ve been lucky to have traveled so much in the past that I don’t feel like I’m missing out.) And particularly on social media, where it’s all just a giant travelogue and all the comments are positive, so I don’t want to be a nagging buzzkill. And how can I feel less bothered by it? I feel like it’s actively harming my relationships, because even when I don’t talk about, I’m still thinking about. For what it’s worth, I’ve joined the board of an environmental nonprofit, so I try to talk about that instead, with flying as a bit of an offhand comment.

—Not a Flight-Shamer

Re: There is no way to 'educate' in this manner.

  • Options
    It couldn’t hurt to say “hey, I’ve been offsetting my carbon footprint by donating to x, y, z after my flights” when you’re in person. But beyond that or on social media it’s probably not going to come off the way you intend. 
  • Options
    If LW is this 'in the know' about environmental concerns, then they should know that it's not really what individuals are doing and more about a handful of unchecked corporations that are making the biggest impact the current state of the environment.  Yes, they can talk about their work in the space and what they've done to reduce their carbon footprint, but there's no way to be all, "Ohh so you flew to Paris, London, Helsinki, and then back to the US in 4 days?  You should think about your impact on the environment!" 
  • Options
    LW will really reduce their carbon footprint by traveling around on that high horse for the rest of their life. 
    While she types her letters to Prudie on a computer that runs on electricity generated by....peddling a bike?
  • Options
    It'd be interesting to review LW's high horse's carbon footprints...  So many of those types I've encountered can't tell the difference between "feel good because someone told them it's green/offset" and actual conservation practices that produce a real world positive impact on helping the environment. 

    LW your affluent holier than thou attitude is as annoying as a door knocking religious zealot on the only day this month to sleep in..  
  • Options
    Also, not all nonprofits are actually doing great work.   And I'm with those who roll eyes about the offsetting.   What about actually changing your own self first?  Sell that house and live in a small apartment and buy your clothing second hand while eating a vegan diet.  Or it's just easier to write a check?  Oh ok.   cool. 
  • Options
    LW, you can continue to keep your mouth shut and worry about your own damn self and your own damn carbon footprint.

    I also like how they admit that part of the reason they no longer travel for pleasure is because they've already done it extensively and no longer feel the need.

    Years ago, I had a friend who was very right-wing and part of a group that had a weekly Pro-Life protest at a local clinic that also provided abortions.  Except she'd had an abortion, when she was younger.  I understand that people's opinions and beliefs can change over time, so I tried not to fault her for that.  We were polar opposites on most social issues, but respected each other's opinions and it led for interesting discussions sometimes

    But she admitted...although she believes now that it was wrong...she isn't sorry she had an abortion and has no regrets about it.  Because "oh wow" (as a horrified look descends upon her face), "to have had a baby at that point in my life would have ruined it."

    ((Mentally -- throwing my arms up in the air like a wacky, wild, inflatable ad woman)).  Instead, stayed calm and pointed out, "Is that really fair then?  Don't you think most of the women going to that clinic for an abortion have similar feelings?  I don't want to make you feel bad, but I can't help but say that you chose what was best for you.  Yet now you don't want other women to make the best choice for themselves."

    She at least looked thoughtful and like she had considered my words.  Even if it didn't change her mind or convince her to stop protesting with that awful group.  FWIW, they at least followed the laws and also never said anything to the staff or patients.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    LW, you can continue to keep your mouth shut and worry about your own damn self and your own damn carbon footprint.

    I also like how they admit that part of the reason they no longer travel for pleasure is because they've already done it extensively and no longer feel the need.

    Years ago, I had a friend who was very right-wing and part of a group that had a weekly Pro-Life protest at a local clinic that also provided abortions.  Except she'd had an abortion, when she was younger.  I understand that people's opinions and beliefs can change over time, so I tried not to fault her for that.  We were polar opposites on most social issues, but respected each other's opinions and it led for interesting discussions sometimes

    But she admitted...although she believes now that it was wrong...she isn't sorry she had an abortion and has no regrets about it.  Because "oh wow" (as a horrified look descends upon her face), "to have had a baby at that point in my life would have ruined it."

    ((Mentally -- throwing my arms up in the air like a wacky, wild, inflatable ad woman)).  Instead, stayed calm and pointed out, "Is that really fair then?  Don't you think most of the women going to that clinic for an abortion have similar feelings?  I don't want to make you feel bad, but I can't help but say that you chose what was best for you.  Yet now you don't want other women to make the best choice for themselves."

    She at least looked thoughtful and like she had considered my words.  Even if it didn't change her mind or convince her to stop protesting with that awful group.  FWIW, they at least followed the laws and also never said anything to the staff or patients.
    Right?!?   So you went to Europe, Africa and did a 2 week stint in Hawaii and just suddenly NOW that you hear about the environment it's convenient to stop doing it?   


Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards