Bridal "Shower" Help

Re: Bridal "Shower" Help

• MesmrEwe member

  

  January 2020

  Do the shower early IMO...  I think my bridal showers were a couple months before the wedding just because logistically it worked out that way.  An acquaintance had their shower in the days leading up to the wedding if not the weekend before just because logistically with people flying cross-country they made it part of the wedding week.  
  
  IMO, I'd wait until the travel plans are a bit more solidified as one never knows when the company will change their mind or the dates will change, hopefully not, but it happens, jobs change.  This way you won't be out any deposits.  Also, if they're out of country, "showering" them becomes a logistical nightmare because it's not exactly economical to ship things out of country, then they've got to ship them back KWIM...
  
  The important thing for now is start saving up for the cost of the bridal shower and researching the type of shower you can affordably host and for how many.  Assemble the potential guest list and addresses/contact info.  Recognize that things can get expensive quickly so know  your limits and do not ever be afraid to stand up for yourself with them.  Do not expect others to pay for the shower, but if they offer, wonderful, but don't rely on that money until it's in the bank/vendor paid.  Do not dictate what others need to contribute, it happens frequently where it's a "Let's split it equally" and one or more BM simply can't afford it with travel and such.  
  
   

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• banana468 member

  

  January 2020

  I'd go with either an early shower or a shower a week before the wedding assuming that they'll be home at that point and the guests are not needing to stay overnight two weekends in a row. 
  
  14 years ago friends of ours announced their speedy engagement.   They'd been together for years and wanted a quick engagement due to the announcement of a child on the way and they were also stationed across the country for many months.   The bridal shower was the weekend before the wedding and worked out fine.   
  
  IMO, some of the best showers are in a living room and intimate.   So if that's what works you don't need to go crazy.   Figure out the guest list, where it can be held and a budget.   Then determine the time and go from there.  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  January 2020

  Another vote for doing the shower early. 

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• short+sassy member

  

  January 2020

  Definitely don't do a "remote" shower.  I think that sounds crass and too gift-grabby.  As a guest, I would majorly side-eye it.  Part of the fun of a shower is getting together with usually a smaller group of friends/family.
  
  Depending on the guest list and how far people would need to travel, I think either option is fine.  Either months before or 1-2 weeks before.  But, primarily, talk to your friend!  She might not want a shower at all.  Or she might have a strong preference for whether she would want it before or after.
  
  I also agree with @banana468.  I've always gone to showers that were in someone's home.  I didn't even realize it was a "thing" to go to restaurants/rent spaces/etc. until I came to these boards, lol.
  
  FWIW, I got married in my hometown, which is 1500 miles away from where I was living.  I was not going to be there at any point in the months leading up to my wedding.  And I didn't have time for either a bridal shower or a bachelorette party, after I arrived.  I'd always "pictured" having parties like that.  But when real life and logistics came into play, it was also NBD that I didn't.
  

  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  January 2020

  I would lean toward doing the shower right before the wedding, even if it's a couple of days before. But agree, talk to your friend. Are they going to be home to stay after the wedding, or travelling again? If it's the latter, I could see where they may not even want to have to worry about storing/moving shower gifts. 
  
  I agree that I dislike the idea of a remote shower. The enjoyable part of a shower is having the intimate gathering with close family or friends. I don't see how that would really be enjoyable over facetime. 

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• MesmrEwe member

  

  January 2020

  banana468 said:

  I'd go with either an early shower or a shower a week before the wedding assuming that they'll be home at that point and the guests are not needing to stay overnight two weekends in a row. 
  
  14 years ago friends of ours announced their speedy engagement.   They'd been together for years and wanted a quick engagement due to the announcement of a child on the way and they were also stationed across the country for many months.   The bridal shower was the weekend before the wedding and worked out fine.   
  
  IMO, some of the best showers are in a living room and intimate.   So if that's what works you don't need to go crazy.   Figure out the guest list, where it can be held and a budget.   Then determine the time and go from there.  

  Silly as it sounds my baby shower was awesome for this reason - it was in my own living room hosted by my Sister-in-law so no need to haul stuff anywhere!  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  February 2020

  Do the shower before she goes away. A simple shower can be lovely.

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