Wedding Woes

Ash WEDNESDAY

If you are giving something up for Lent, or taking on a new positive change, what is it? 

Re: Ash WEDNESDAY

  • that's a really cool idea about the student @mobkaz and it makes sense.
  • Frivolous spending. M and I wanna potentially move next year, and with spending {tbh more on M's part} on stupid little shit, it's not gonna happen.
    I suggested the idea to him for both of us. I know if I don't, he won't.

    I may suggest the idea of throwing a certain amount into savings if we don't spend off budget that week. Like $20 a week even - more to show how much we saved for not spending that money.


    Currently in the midst of also looking at booking our trip in February 2021 - we'll be celebrating 10yrs together in March and even though this March is our 5yr wedding anniversary, by the time we take our trip it'll be 5yrs since honeymoon.
    Plus all of that, this will be the last trip we can take without BabyKitten since it'll be when school is in.
    Tbh I don't mind taking her out of school if need be, but I'd rather it be for something like Disney.
  • Frivolous spending. M and I wanna potentially move next year, and with spending {tbh more on M's part} on stupid little shit, it's not gonna happen.
    I suggested the idea to him for both of us. I know if I don't, he won't.

    I may suggest the idea of throwing a certain amount into savings if we don't spend off budget that week. Like $20 a week even - more to show how much we saved for not spending that money.


    Currently in the midst of also looking at booking our trip in February 2021 - we'll be celebrating 10yrs together in March and even though this March is our 5yr wedding anniversary, by the time we take our trip it'll be 5yrs since honeymoon.
    Plus all of that, this will be the last trip we can take without BabyKitten since it'll be when school is in.
    Tbh I don't mind taking her out of school if need be, but I'd rather it be for something like Disney.
    Cruise! Cruise! Cruise!
    i want to hit Turks & Caisos and Belize yet. 

  • @charmedpam I've heard the new Quest protein shakes are good but haven't tried myself. I have the premier protein - I used to use it as a coffee creamer basically. I've heard of people freezing them too kind of like ice cream but haven't tried myself. 
  • @CharmedPam I'm hesitant on a cruise out of sheer nerves of seasickness.
    We're thinking of returning to Occidental Xcaret Mexico {Riviera Maya} and doing attached water park.
  • kvruns said:
    @charmedpam I've heard the new Quest protein shakes are good but haven't tried myself. I have the premier protein - I used to use it as a coffee creamer basically. I've heard of people freezing them too kind of like ice cream but haven't tried myself. 
    I was looking at that yesterday on amazon (reviews look good).  I do like a lot of the bars and chips.  Thanks!

  • I'm Lutheran, so giving up something for Lent doesn't apply to me, lol.  I'm joking (kinda), I know it's always a choice for anyone.  But it also wasn't something we did or even talked about, growing up.

    With that said, I need to get in the habit of using my new exercise bike.  I only hopped on it once over my long weekend and was "tsk'ing" myself about that.  

    While I realize it is technically Wed., it is actually my Mon. and it REALLY is.  It feels like an "exponential" Mon, lol.  Traffic was at least blissfully very light this morning.  I'm hoping for the same when I go home.  There's a decent chunk of locals who take the whole Mardi Gras week off to go on vacation and get outta town.   Plus I'm sure there's an even larger chunk of locals who are nursing their hangovers this morning and didn't go to work, lol.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I thought it was Thursday. Oops. This week feels like Groundhog Day. I’m not really doing anything for Lent. I have been trying to clean up the house nightly instead of waiting to the weekend to help with some of my clutter stress. But the downside is that then I don’t get to bed until 11 once I’ve gotten off work, gone to the gym, showered, cooked dinner, and then cleaned up. And it’s giving me no room for downtime where I’m just relaxing. It has been nice to see the house more “together” and to have lighter cleaning days on the weekend but it’s not a perfect system yet. I also want to start journaling again but I’m not sure when I’ll get the time to do that. I’ve been keeping up my 30 minute walks at lunch too every day. 

    @CharmedPam they might have a little too much sugar for you, but I use Fit & Lean Cookies and Cream meal replacement/protein shakes as a snack to help me meet my protein goals. I personally make them with unsweetened vanilla almond milk but they’re not awful with just water either. They have 20g protein. They’re 16g of carbs, but 10g is from fiber sources so I don’t mind. I think it also has pre or probiotics. 


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  • @Casadena if you wanna put tv on but not have something you're watching, there is a nursery rhymes on netflix for kids
    Also wiggles.
  • @short+sassy I'm Lutheran too!  I've had a different experience though - quite a few people I know do give up something for Lent.  Usually it isn't sweets though - we do a pancake dinner on Ash Wednesday at my church, so I don't think anyone is giving up sugar, that's for sure.

    @banana468 I gave up Candy Crush last year for Lent.  I may again this year ... I don't know.  

    I like the idea of starting up my journal again - I used to do it regularly, and then in my worst bout of depression sort of gave up on it.  Which is ironic, since keeping a journal is supposed to help combat depression, but since I was writing about stuff when I was upset, a lot of my entries at that time were negative, so I didn't want to keep it up.  I'd like to do it again and try to focus on writing about the good stuff.  I do like going back and reading old journal entries, and I've got about a 6 year sporatic gap going at this point.  

  • @mrsconn23 You could give up not being patient with yourself ... or give up not giving yourself some space/time to breath.
    Has your H see therapy during this? {I know you have mentioned yourself} I know some stuff regarding other close family member deaths tend to trigger my PTSD and have had to seek counseling due to it.
  • I've been trying to get DH to go to therapy.  He's not resistant to it, but he won't prioritize it.  I bring it up every so often.  He actually has a job/schedule that would make it easy for him to go.  
  • mrsconn23 said:
    I'm not in a mindset to give up anything for lent, honestly.  I feel like I'm giving up a lot of 'normalcy' in my life right now with the situation I'm in, so sacrificing things that make me feel good/bring comfort is just too much.  I am, instead, going to try to be better at practicing patience and grace with myself and everyone around me.  

    I did call dad last night and recommended that he asks that someone comes to give mom ashes today.  She's in a Catholic hospital, so...I'm sure it's just a matter of putting in the order. We're Catholic in upbringing.  I'm confirmed, but I haven't been to church with the exception of funerals in years. 

    I'm going to see her tonight.  I blew off some frustration with DH this morning about some stuff that is bothering me, which some of it had to do with 'recommendations' he's making. He's having a hard time with any resistance I put up because his mom died suddenly, so he didn't have the gift of knowing in advance.  I'm validating that because I understand this is bringing up a ton of pain for him, but I think our conversation helped him understand some of the whys behind my feelings/actions. 

    One of my closest friends works for a lawyer and she's been helping us with end of life stuff my parents want wrapped up, free of charge.  My other friend sent me a GC to a local restaurant group.  

    Family friends are flying in tomorrow.  I am happy dad won't have an empty house for a few days.  Grandpa's figuring out when he can get here.  
    I think that plenty of people who are Catholic do what works for them in Lent.   Sometimes it isn't giving up an indulgent item.   It's vowing to give up a vice or being present with others.   And FFS @mrsconn23 you certainly are giving up a ton right now.   Sanity needs to be maintained!

    If your mom is in a Catholic hospital do you know if they filled in anything related to their faith?  I remember when I delivered both kiddos that I was in the hospital over the weekend and as a result extraordinary Eucharistic ministers came to give me communion.   If that is something you think your mom wants it should be able to be arranged.   Similarly you can probably talk to them if there is any other sacrament that you or your father or she wants to have such as anointing.   

    Good luck with all the things.   
  • Popped in earlier, just now getting to post.

    Casadena - Be kind to yourself during this time - its a big adjustment!  And the hormones don't help!

    I was able to go to the local Church's noon service for Ashes with my co-worker.  This year, I'm giving up my laptop in the mornings before work - I usually get too involved with it and then forget to get ready for work - oops!  Some years I don't give anything up, but try to do more for charity instead.  One homily that I had on an Ash Wednesday service was that doing things for those less fortunate can be more beneficial than giving up a want.  The priest had even suggested, just picking one item per day from your house that you can donate to charity at the end of Lent.

    I had DDs 3 year well check after work, then a co-worker's parent's viewing to attend later.  In between we will stop for pizza for dinner.  I have an assignment I'm wishing to finish today, but that probably won't happen (see me being on TK).  But as long as I get it finished up tomorrow, I will be good!  Then I'm off on Friday to assist H, he is getting a V.
    I know a couple people who are doing that.  It's a great idea!  

  • banana468 said:
    mrsconn23 said:
    I'm not in a mindset to give up anything for lent, honestly.  I feel like I'm giving up a lot of 'normalcy' in my life right now with the situation I'm in, so sacrificing things that make me feel good/bring comfort is just too much.  I am, instead, going to try to be better at practicing patience and grace with myself and everyone around me.  

    I did call dad last night and recommended that he asks that someone comes to give mom ashes today.  She's in a Catholic hospital, so...I'm sure it's just a matter of putting in the order. We're Catholic in upbringing.  I'm confirmed, but I haven't been to church with the exception of funerals in years. 

    I'm going to see her tonight.  I blew off some frustration with DH this morning about some stuff that is bothering me, which some of it had to do with 'recommendations' he's making. He's having a hard time with any resistance I put up because his mom died suddenly, so he didn't have the gift of knowing in advance.  I'm validating that because I understand this is bringing up a ton of pain for him, but I think our conversation helped him understand some of the whys behind my feelings/actions. 

    One of my closest friends works for a lawyer and she's been helping us with end of life stuff my parents want wrapped up, free of charge.  My other friend sent me a GC to a local restaurant group.  

    Family friends are flying in tomorrow.  I am happy dad won't have an empty house for a few days.  Grandpa's figuring out when he can get here.  
    I think that plenty of people who are Catholic do what works for them in Lent.   Sometimes it isn't giving up an indulgent item.   It's vowing to give up a vice or being present with others.   And FFS @mrsconn23 you certainly are giving up a ton right now.   Sanity needs to be maintained!

    If your mom is in a Catholic hospital do you know if they filled in anything related to their faith?  I remember when I delivered both kiddos that I was in the hospital over the weekend and as a result extraordinary Eucharistic ministers came to give me communion.   If that is something you think your mom wants it should be able to be arranged.   Similarly you can probably talk to them if there is any other sacrament that you or your father or she wants to have such as anointing.   

    Good luck with all the things.   
    I may ask if she wants that.  If so, I'll see if it can be done. 

    She can't take eucharist because she can't have any food.  :( 
  • mrsconn23 said:
    banana468 said:
    mrsconn23 said:
    I'm not in a mindset to give up anything for lent, honestly.  I feel like I'm giving up a lot of 'normalcy' in my life right now with the situation I'm in, so sacrificing things that make me feel good/bring comfort is just too much.  I am, instead, going to try to be better at practicing patience and grace with myself and everyone around me.  

    I did call dad last night and recommended that he asks that someone comes to give mom ashes today.  She's in a Catholic hospital, so...I'm sure it's just a matter of putting in the order. We're Catholic in upbringing.  I'm confirmed, but I haven't been to church with the exception of funerals in years. 

    I'm going to see her tonight.  I blew off some frustration with DH this morning about some stuff that is bothering me, which some of it had to do with 'recommendations' he's making. He's having a hard time with any resistance I put up because his mom died suddenly, so he didn't have the gift of knowing in advance.  I'm validating that because I understand this is bringing up a ton of pain for him, but I think our conversation helped him understand some of the whys behind my feelings/actions. 

    One of my closest friends works for a lawyer and she's been helping us with end of life stuff my parents want wrapped up, free of charge.  My other friend sent me a GC to a local restaurant group.  

    Family friends are flying in tomorrow.  I am happy dad won't have an empty house for a few days.  Grandpa's figuring out when he can get here.  
    I think that plenty of people who are Catholic do what works for them in Lent.   Sometimes it isn't giving up an indulgent item.   It's vowing to give up a vice or being present with others.   And FFS @mrsconn23 you certainly are giving up a ton right now.   Sanity needs to be maintained!

    If your mom is in a Catholic hospital do you know if they filled in anything related to their faith?  I remember when I delivered both kiddos that I was in the hospital over the weekend and as a result extraordinary Eucharistic ministers came to give me communion.   If that is something you think your mom wants it should be able to be arranged.   Similarly you can probably talk to them if there is any other sacrament that you or your father or she wants to have such as anointing.   

    Good luck with all the things.   
    I may ask if she wants that.  If so, I'll see if it can be done. 

    She can't take eucharist because she can't have any food.  :( 
    I'm sorry :-(  

    It's all going to be in family comfort level and what she can take and I have to believe that if she's receiving treatment there, any hospital chaplain can discuss what options are possible.

    All the hugs.
  • I’m not Catholic and really not religious at all even though I was brought up conservative Lutheran. Fat Tuesday/Lent was a big thing for us, but it hasn’t been a thing for me in a long time. Although the church near my office had “to go” ashes with a priest on the street corner this morning. 

    We’re supposed to get a huge storm for the next two days. Schools are already closed for tomorrow. I’m leaving soon but it’s not supposed to get bad until later tonight. I’m skeptical about how much they’re forecasting (1-2 feet) but who knows, maybe things will be bad? We’ve had a super mild winter so I guess we’re due. 
  • I like the student idea @MobKaz
    Last year I took Facebook off my phone for Lent bc I felt like it was too much scrolling.  I don't fire up the desktop more than once a week, and I was surprised at how quickly I adjusted to a once a week or so FB visit.  Toying with doing that with instagram this year.
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