Dear Prudence,
I’m a 25-year-old black woman, and all my life I’ve been teased for being thin. Now that I’m a little older, I’ve finally been able to put on a few pounds and am no longer a size zero. I’m very happy with the way I look, but I’m still insecure about my size and constantly compare myself to other women.
I recently got a new job, and everyone here is very kind. However, a lot of my co-workers, even my boss, will make comments like “You eat so much but don’t gain a pound” or “You must be cold all the time because you have no fat.” I know that they aren’t meaning to insult me, so I always awkwardly smile. But I die inside every time I hear a comment like that. I know that a lot of people assume that being called skinny is a compliment, and maybe I sound ungrateful in the grand scheme of things. But I can’t help how I feel. Is there a way I can communicate that comments regarding my body make me uncomfortable or is this a personal problem I should take up with a therapist?
—Skinny’s Not a Compliment