Dear Prudence,
A close friend runs a small nonprofit, from which I have benefited greatly over the years. I support her and the organization, but as my life has changed (got married, had a kid), I’ve been less directly involved. Still, when she had a fundraising campaign recently, I de facto brought in one of the biggest donors (a relative who is only interested because of my involvement), almost doubled my own donation from last year, and spent time I didn’t really have giving her feedback on the marketing materials for the campaign and writing PR copy (things I do professionally, but did for her free of charge).
During the campaign, I received a message from her regarding a donor from last year’s campaign that basically said, “Hey, this is your friend, right? She gave X amount of money last year, and it would make such an impact if she would do it again.” I feel so incredibly put off by this message, and just didn’t respond. I know my friend had good intentions, and I want to give her feedback so that she understands why this wasn’t OK. But I can’t exactly put my finger on how to explain what was so uncomfortable about the message. Can you help me with a script to let her know that yes, I love and support what she does, but this was crossing a line?
—Friendly Fundraising