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Postpone but Still Marry?

SpeechieESpeechieE member
First Anniversary
in Wedding Woes
Hi all!

Our wedding is supposed to be June 13th, but I've heard from my venue they've already canceled all events in April and will be looking at canceling May events due to the Coronavirus. No one is sure how things will be in June yet, but we live in Missouri where our governor has done very little to stop the spread. We opened the first testing center in my city today, so no one knows how many cases we really have. 

Luckily, we were able to reserve the only date our venue still had open this year, Nov 7, as a back up. My question is, has anyone went ahead and filled out all the paperwork to be married before the ceremony? We've been engaged 2 and a half years now and really don't want to wait until Nov 7 to finally be married. We already paid for everything or I would have just canceled the ceremony all together. Would it be weird to be married in May/June/whenever we can go outside again, then have the ceremony and reception in November?
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Re: Postpone but Still Marry?

  • knottieac072384e076357aknottieac072384e076357a member
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    It wouldn’t be weird at all and I am SURE everyone would understand. Totally your call on whether you share with guests or not. 
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  • kathyja25kathyja25 newb
    First Comment
    I'm also a June 13th bride!! We live in Michigan and things are pretty bad here right now. So far I don't think our venue is looking at June events yet, but I'm feeling really anxious about whether we're going to have to postpone our wedding or not. I think we have to wait until the end of April, maybe beginning of May, before any decision would be made.

    To ease my anxiety, we've come up with a plan B that I think I could be happy with. We're thinking that we'd go ahead and do a virtual ceremony (zoom session or something) on June 13th at 4:30pm like we had planned and then postpone the "reception" until a later date. I won't be wearing my wedding dress for the virtual ceremony because I want to save that for the big party, but I'd buy a simpler but still pretty dress for the virtual ceremony. 

    We don't want to wait to get married, and we still want our original date to be our anniversary. Whether we can officially be married that day or not, who knows at this point but to me that's just paperwork. If courthouses aren't open, we'd just go to the justice of the peace later but still celebrate our anniversary of June 13th.
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    knottieac072384e076357a said:
    It wouldn’t be weird at all and I am SURE everyone would understand. Totally your call on whether you share with guests or not. 
    Chiming in and adding agreement that THIS is bad advice.

    You can tell your guests that due to circumstances related to the pandemic that they're going to a party and not a wedding.  I'm even OK (and normally am not) with the concept of reenacting the entire thing considering the current circumstances. 

    There is no time ever that you get a reason to not be truthful.  
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  • ei34ei34 member
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    banana468 said:
    knottieac072384e076357a said:
    It wouldn’t be weird at all and I am SURE everyone would understand. Totally your call on whether you share with guests or not. 
    Chiming in and adding agreement that THIS is bad advice.

    You can tell your guests that due to circumstances related to the pandemic that they're going to a party and not a wedding.  I'm even OK (and normally am not) with the concept of reenacting the entire thing considering the current circumstances. 

    There is no time ever that you get a reason to not be truthful.  
    Totally agree.  I'd never been a fan of a re-enactment but I'm for it for all of the couples who have to postpone due to the pandemic, if that's what they'd like.  Absolutely don't lie to your guests though.

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  • knottieac072384e076357aknottieac072384e076357a member
    Name Dropper First Comment
    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    knottieac072384e076357a said:
    It wouldn’t be weird at all and I am SURE everyone would understand. Totally your call on whether you share with guests or not. 
    I totally disagree with you on this. People should know if they are actually witnessing a wedding or a reenactment. If they aren't told and find out later, there could be some hard feelings. Have a big blowout reception later but don't lie to your guests.
    We’ll have to agree to disagree. 
    People (such as yourself) seem to see a ‘reenactment’ as different from a wedding. 
    Their big day is their big day and they can choose to tell people whatever they want. No judgement from me at all. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    knottieac072384e076357a said:
    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    knottieac072384e076357a said:
    It wouldn’t be weird at all and I am SURE everyone would understand. Totally your call on whether you share with guests or not. 
    I totally disagree with you on this. People should know if they are actually witnessing a wedding or a reenactment. If they aren't told and find out later, there could be some hard feelings. Have a big blowout reception later but don't lie to your guests.
    We’ll have to agree to disagree. 
    People (such as yourself) seem to see a ‘reenactment’ as different from a wedding. 
    Their big day is their big day and they can choose to tell people whatever they want. No judgement from me at all. 
    No.  This is an omission of facts and its lying to guests.

    We can agree to disagree on whether or not doing so is OK.  You seem to think that arbitrary lies of omission are OK and I think they are not.

    By doing this you then extend it to mean that you are under the premise it is OK to select how truthful you can be with others and consider it somehow morally acceptable.  My take is that one of strong morals doesn't split hairs like this. 
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    knottieac072384e076357a said:
    It wouldn’t be weird at all and I am SURE everyone would understand. Totally your call on whether you share with guests or not. 
    As others, I disagree.
    My BIL and FSIL are considering eloping and doing a ceremony later {their wedding currently set for early September} and I can assure you everyone would be offended if they had not said they were already married.

    You can have a faux ceremony and still tell people you're married.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    knottieac072384e076357a said:
    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    knottieac072384e076357a said:
    It wouldn’t be weird at all and I am SURE everyone would understand. Totally your call on whether you share with guests or not. 
    I totally disagree with you on this. People should know if they are actually witnessing a wedding or a reenactment. If they aren't told and find out later, there could be some hard feelings. Have a big blowout reception later but don't lie to your guests.
    We’ll have to agree to disagree. 
    People (such as yourself) seem to see a ‘reenactment’ as different from a wedding. 
    Their big day is their big day and they can choose to tell people whatever they want. No judgement from me at all. 
    You can keep on saying that it's ok to lie to your closest family and friends.

    Most people would disagree, but not everyone has morals. 
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  • CasadenaCasadena member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    knottieac072384e076357a said:
    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    knottieac072384e076357a said:
    It wouldn’t be weird at all and I am SURE everyone would understand. Totally your call on whether you share with guests or not. 
    I totally disagree with you on this. People should know if they are actually witnessing a wedding or a reenactment. If they aren't told and find out later, there could be some hard feelings. Have a big blowout reception later but don't lie to your guests.
    We’ll have to agree to disagree. 
    People (such as yourself) seem to see a ‘reenactment’ as different from a wedding. 
    Their big day is their big day and they can choose to tell people whatever they want. No judgement from me at all. 
    because it IS different than a wedding, that's just a fact.  

    Ppl can reenact a wedding anytime they want, I dont' care about that.  But why would you tell me it's your wedding if it is not?  That's ridiculous.  
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    knottieac072384e076357a said:
    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    knottieac072384e076357a said:
    It wouldn’t be weird at all and I am SURE everyone would understand. Totally your call on whether you share with guests or not. 
    I totally disagree with you on this. People should know if they are actually witnessing a wedding or a reenactment. If they aren't told and find out later, there could be some hard feelings. Have a big blowout reception later but don't lie to your guests.
    We’ll have to agree to disagree. 
    People (such as yourself) seem to see a ‘reenactment’ as different from a wedding. 
    Their big day is their big day and they can choose to tell people whatever they want. No judgement from me at all. 
    You get married once and that's your wedding day.  People have receptions after their actual wedding day for many reasons.  Postponing the celebration in these times is smart, but I don't fault people for wanting to still get married on or around the day they intended initially. But they will be married from that point on.  Any ceremony after that, whether you do it every single day or 6 months later is a vow renewal.  That's not anything to 'agree to disagree' about.   

    Keeping it from people is asking for trouble.  As I said in my initial response at the top, people will likely still want to celebrate people's marriages later this year even IF they decide to go ahead with sealing the deal at an earlier date.  
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