Dear Prudence,
I am a below-the-knee amputee. The type of prosthesis I wear has two different silicone components, so there are some thicker layers around my knee. I wear shorts all the time because pants put yet another layer of material and pressure on my knee. I was not in the military, but because I’m a relatively fit man, people often assume I lost my foot in combat, sometimes even thanking me for my service. I always correct them. But it bothers me that they are making assumptions.
I don’t mind it if a child asks about my leg because it gives me the opportunity to talk about the importance of wearing a seat belt. I’ll even let them check out my prosthesis, touch it, or answer their questions, because they may not have ever seen one before. Adults are a different story. It really irritates me when they’re nosy. I don’t want to talk about it. I usually just tell them the truth, that I was in a car accident, but it really gets to me that people treat me like I’m some sideshow act. I’m tough about a lot of things, but sometimes I’ll break down thinking about what everyone must think about me if so many people just have to know “what happened.” What can I say that will get me out of the conversation, while also conveying the message that it is rude to ask in the first place? And am I just being oversensitive?
—Stop Asking