How to include Mom who lives far away

Re: How to include Mom who lives far away

• MesmrEwe member

  

  June 2020

  Go dress shopping with your Mom...
  
  

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• MobKaz member

  

  July 2020

  knottie71155fc2d7b0e766 said:

  I'm getting married in California, where I've lived for the past several years and where me and my fiance's friends live. His family lives a few hours away, but my parents live across the country in Virginia. Me and my fiance just got engaged, but I got a feeling even before we got engaged that my parents seemed a little jealous that we were able to see his family more than mine. I want to make my parents (especially my mom) feel included, while not making them feel like I'm dumping work on them. Any advice would be wonderful

  
  

  If you live in, and plan on marrying in California, your options will be limited.  Factor in restrictions regarding Covid, even fun things like traveling to join with dress shopping, could be risky, if not downright impossible.

  No one but you and your FI should be "working" on wedding plans.  However, if she chooses, your mom could help with internet recon.  For my son's wedding, I did a lot of recon helping my DIL find just the right bottles for their favors, and other reception details.  I had the time and interest in helping. 
  

  You could Facetime when you go dress shopping if she is unable to travel for that experience.  If your mom has a particular passion, such as flowers, you could ask if she is interested in researching flowers or centerpieces for you.

  My son and his family are also across the country.  It is hard, but you can only do so much to feel included.
  

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• maine7mob member

  

  July 2020

  Ask her what she'd like to do. Walk you down the aisle? Help you with your menu, flowers, decor, etc., beforehand? None of the above? Ask her! If she likes clothes and shopping, go online and look for dresses for her. My daughter had her eye out for my MOB dress and was always sending me suggestions, and she came with me to Nordstrom when I finally chose one. It's one way of showing your mom that you're interested in how she experiences the day. 

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• levioosa member

  

  July 2020

  Hey OP, the only people responsible for planning or paying for your wedding are you and your FI. There aren’t any jobs or “duties” required by anyone else. That includes your BP. 

  
  

  Otherwise, ask your mom if there is any specific way she’d like to be involved with the wedding. FaceTime when you dress shop, ask if she has any preferences with cocktails or wine served, etc. (full warning that asking for opinions can also backfire). 

  
  

  And try to be realistic about your own wedding. CA is a dumpster fire right now and you might not end up having the wedding you envision. Don’t let the wedding industry give you crazy expectations (and this is true even without a pandemic happening). 

  
  

  
  

  

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