I am a straight woman, 29, who has never been kissed, been on a date, had a boyfriend—you name it, I haven’t done it, even though I’m interested. No guy has ever seemed to be interested in me (and all the ones that I really liked were in a relationship already). Not only that, but none of my friends, past or present, have ever asked me about my dating history. Neither have my family members, not even my parents. I’ve never offered any information because there’s nothing to tell, and it feels a little embarrassing. But it’s like I live in this bubble of perpetual singleness that everyone pretends isn’t there.
I love the way I look and dress, and in recent years my self-confidence has made massive strides, and I think I’m a total catch. I’m friendly when I meet new people, and I have a decent-sized social circle. The only thing I can think of is my height—I’m 5-foot-11, so I’m taller than a lot of the guys I meet. But that can’t explain away an entire lack of interest! All around me I see people my age getting engaged and getting married, and I’d love to have a relationship of my own. I just don’t understand why it just seems to happen for everyone else, but not for me. For what it’s worth, I briefly tried dating apps but stopped because they made me feel jittery and uncomfortable. I’d much rather meet someone IRL! Could you help me get some perspective on what might be going on?
—Single and Silent